More Help

Yesterday I was on the road coming down to Florida to see a friend with very serious cancer so no blog entry. In my remembrance of life I would start with Bekah and I getting Marsha home from the hospital and back settled in our home. I'm not sure that Marsha felt the whole procedure was worth anything. She is weaker and less functioning now with each day. I do have the addition of Dottie returning to be of assistance, and Marsha likes the way Dottie cares for her. Her inability to get comfortable is even now growing daily but not at a problematic level yet. It is growing harder for her and harder for me as I watch. They had said 3-6 months and that does not seem at all likely to me even though we are not in crisis. Reality has been present all along but now it is really setting in. As it is with a typical man I just want to fix it, but from the start I've known that nothing I can do will fix anything. That is the frustrating part. I don't like feeling helpless and yet that is what I am. I'm not despairing for we both know where she is going but I do want to hold on a little longer and I'm knowing that is not to be.