How deep is your love? How do you even begin to know? I have frequently talked about the evolution of my love for Marsha. I think that my path of evolution of love in marriage is even more common than people would think. Maybe others move more quickly or even jump over some parts of the process entirely, but love changes throughout a relationship. I know before Marsha got sick I knew the strengths she offered to me through our relationship, and that some of them were things I had wanted to change or eliminate in the early years of marriage. I hate the phrase implying that a husband or wife completes each other. I think God made me complete but I didn't always live up to His expectations. God however can complete me, not in new creation like I wasn't a full creation to begin with, but rather a new creation in that I have been recreated by God toward my original created destiny. I also believe that Marsha helped mightily in God's work. Her love for me and my love for her were used by God to further our growth, but I think we both would say our love was still a project. It still amazes me that I discovered new depth to my love for Marsha in the process of losing her in this earthly form. Although the days were filled with difficult circumstances, as I helped her from place to place and waited as best I could on her every need I discovered a new depth of my love. You know how you wish you could have a do over from time to time. (I was playing golf with a guy today who spoke of a golfer friend who would just allow himself frequent do overs and not count them against his score) Wouldn't it be nice if we could just have many do overs in life, because I would love the chance to live with a healthy Marsha understanding how much I truly love her and why. That falls in the category of regrets which are useless and not worth holding onto at all. This depth of loving however is a life lesson and can be applied in many ways. I may be a slow learner but I'm glad I learned even if it was in the midst of the loss of my greatest treasure.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Love
How deep is your love? How do you even begin to know? I have frequently talked about the evolution of my love for Marsha. I think that my path of evolution of love in marriage is even more common than people would think. Maybe others move more quickly or even jump over some parts of the process entirely, but love changes throughout a relationship. I know before Marsha got sick I knew the strengths she offered to me through our relationship, and that some of them were things I had wanted to change or eliminate in the early years of marriage. I hate the phrase implying that a husband or wife completes each other. I think God made me complete but I didn't always live up to His expectations. God however can complete me, not in new creation like I wasn't a full creation to begin with, but rather a new creation in that I have been recreated by God toward my original created destiny. I also believe that Marsha helped mightily in God's work. Her love for me and my love for her were used by God to further our growth, but I think we both would say our love was still a project. It still amazes me that I discovered new depth to my love for Marsha in the process of losing her in this earthly form. Although the days were filled with difficult circumstances, as I helped her from place to place and waited as best I could on her every need I discovered a new depth of my love. You know how you wish you could have a do over from time to time. (I was playing golf with a guy today who spoke of a golfer friend who would just allow himself frequent do overs and not count them against his score) Wouldn't it be nice if we could just have many do overs in life, because I would love the chance to live with a healthy Marsha understanding how much I truly love her and why. That falls in the category of regrets which are useless and not worth holding onto at all. This depth of loving however is a life lesson and can be applied in many ways. I may be a slow learner but I'm glad I learned even if it was in the midst of the loss of my greatest treasure.
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