Anxious Waiting

You hear so many true stories of the people who lose their hair and those who are constantly sick to their stomach when they take chemotherapy. That was the source of the anxiety that hung in the air last year this time. This was the day before the first treatment and we had no distractions going on in our life this day. We talked about the possibilities and the fact that Marsha hated to be sick. She was never an easy patient or a very willing nurse. We had waited for this day however hoping that this was a productive or perhaps even miraculous path. Marsha and I had faced the worst of the possibilities in our discussions and I think also in our expectations. I had told so many people to face reality while letting the church pray for a miracle. We knew God could always perform a miracle directly or through medicine, but we had been working at saying what needed to be said and seeing who we needed to see. We were not giving up on life but acting as though Marsha had a very limited life, leaving the miracles to God. We knew the ultimate healing is the wholeness we receive when we die. An anxious day but not a hopeless one, because our hope is in God who will not fail us even if we die.