Wishing It Was Still Boring

About four days after the bronchoscopy what had seemed to be progress started to regress. Marsha again had trouble sleeping and the cough was less under control. It was not the moment when the next decision was needed and even the suggestion of the next steps were not made, but it was clear that the situation was making a turn for the worse. Marsha must have noticed but you would never know from her attitude. It was the same calm assured Marsha no matter what the circumstances. I was so impressed. Marsha was not usually a good sick person. She was horrible with pain and impatient with illness, mine hers or anyone else. If the kids were sick it was my duty especially if there was blood or other visible products involved. I felt less comfortable with the changes than it seemed Marsha was. I can remember the golf balls took more punishment that day. I went home and struggled for peace that night. It is so hard to watch someone you love go through difficulties and harder when the cloud of cancer is hanging there. I never doubted God's presence and help and I know Marsha didn't either. I know that made everything easier, but not easy.