Surgery

Today I remember the day of the surgery. Thorocentesis is probably a mis-spelling of the word but it is about as close as I'll come. I had no real idea what this entailed other than draining off fluid with the possibility of adhering the lung back in place as a preventative measure. At the same time they would be able to get more information about the cause. I can remember spending part of the time with Bekah as we waited. I'm normally a patient guy but I was not very patient that day. I think I tried to give a non-anxious presence but I'm not sure I succeeded. I think the biggest shock was that she was in intensive care when it was over and not just for a short stretch but for days. I thought she would just be back in her room after recovery because I really thought it was a simple procedure. Marsha thought it was a simple procedure as well. It shows how poorly we understood the procedure. Late that day I did get a chance to speak with the doctor and his words are as vivid today as they were that evening. He said, "It looked like cancer, it smelled like cancer but we could not find any cancer cells." How can you go up and down on that rollercoaster at exactly the same moment and yet that is what it felt like. We learned we would not know the final results of the biopsies for five or six days, which created another frustration. I was watching the movie "As Good As It Gets" the other day as the mother becomes shocked when the doctor tells his nurse he wants the results of the tests on that same day. She didn't believe it possible. I did get my biopsy results the same day when they found my cancer and then again when I had the cancer removed, simply because I knew the doctors. Here I was not going to get any favoritism. Comforting Marsha was the order of the evening. She was in pain and that was hard for her and for us. I went home less than settled that night.