Weekend Waiting

The coming week for us would be a busy but important one. The week will be filled with tests and a visit from two of Marsha's sisters and her remaining brother. Marsha hated being poked and prodded and the idea of tests was not making for a good weekend. Knowing that she was dying and seeing her family for what might be the last time was also weighing on her heart. Wanting very much to see the people you love and at the same time knowing that it will be difficult, gives you those mixed emotions. I think we also had company from Bekah being here early and Laura being here later on. I think they were here together for one of the days but that part becomes a little confused in my mind. I know that Marsha had already seen Bekah but was so glad that Laura could be here. Laura is soft and sensitive and Marsha definitely wanted to spend time with her and ease her mind as much as possible. For me the visits of Merrie, Bekah and Laura were a great lift. It was as if the emotion was spread out on all of us. That seems funny as I write it because Marsha was very good at not splashing her emotions all over the place. She really was so amazingly anchored in her faith and I was more emotional than I think she was. Maybe it was my emotion that was being spread around not hers. I know the times Marsha and I had company in our home were not in any way unwelcome. I know that if somehow I was going to plan the way the time would be used from her entering the hospital until her death I would have made things more difficult not less. I think I would have been more protective of Marsha's rest, and our private time together and I would have been wrong. Marsha knew what everyone needed and she needed to have all these things happen for her own well being as well. I guess that is why God didn't put me in charge.