Bored But Better

As I think about the next few days of Marsha's illness, all I can see is the boredom of hospitalization. She was not getting much better but she was not getting worse. Her spirits were good and she thought home was on the horizon and that kept her focused. At this point we had no more tests scheduled and things seemed to be at a standstill. I was moving back and forth between home and the hospital. We had visits from Dave & Pat, Roy & Marie, Sue Brunson, Dick Rife, Jim & Linda Burney, Rev. Jeff Wallace & Rev. Jim Lewis as well as telephone calls. The care from doctors and nurses was great for the most part. One nurse Marsha was convinced was a temp and she had trouble with her, but really she did very well. I still tried to find a little time away for sanity. I'm an active guy and sitting in a hospital when I'm not the sick one drives me crazy. I worked hard to make sure Marsha did not see that. We were hopeful that she would be out and home. It looked like things were getting better slowly and nothing found in the tests would warrant her staying. I looked so forward to her being home at the same time that we had no answers and we wanted answers. All this time I was on the phone with people up north both family and others. I tried to let as many of her closest friends know every step and contacted our prayer warriors for healing prayer. Marsha agreed with me and would frequently say that God answers all healing prayer because death is the ultimate healing for a Christian. This was basically the same for three days or so. As I remember the feelings I would summarize it all with the simple statement that the weight of not knowing is enormous. I just felt like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders, and yet when I prayed my inner peace would return again and again.