Good Cry Today

Today was one of those days. I recorded the movie Ghost with my DVR and watched it this morning. It was really the first time that I have had prolonged tears. As Dimmy Moore was missing her dead husband in the movie I was feeling my own loss. It amazes me how it comes and goes and it can be so quick. One minute I am having no recognized thought about Marsha and life just seems to be moving on and the next I'm deeply sad or deeply lonely. I can see her in so many things and sometimes feel her presence. Often these occur without the intense emotions, but sometimes without rational explanation I feel overcome by emotion. I know this is part of the healing process, but that sounds so impersonal. Marsha is not a process, but I guess my grief is. Maybe it is the holiday season that is beginning to dawn on me, or maybe it's just time for this to happen in my grieving. I do know that it is not all bad, because in those moments when I miss her the most and am the most emotional, in a strange way I feel the closest to her. I'm not saying I want to hold on to this sadness, but the reality is this journey has strange twists and turns. I don't know what is around the next corner but today was an emotional turn for a time. We'll see what's next.