Reminders

One of the messages I received from God as I started to grieve Marsha's passing was to keep reminders around to keep me from avoiding the grief. I picked a couple that are meaningful to me. Marsha prided herself on how long she could keep the African Violets in bloom. She loved those little flowers and the way they brightened up a window or a corner. This is one of her violets. I sent it the plant sitter when I went north for the summer so I could keep it alive. The calendar was a gift to Marsha from Janice Aquafresca a teacher friend when Marsha retired. Marsha changed the date every morning but I stopped the day she died. I see this at my kitchen sink each day. The third picture is of some of the cards and letters we received when Marsha was sick and passed away. They sit on my counter and I pick one or two to read from time to time to remind me of your prayers for her and for me. This may sound morbid to some to keep reminders around to grieve, but I have a good life and I have fun and I could not do the work to heal by hiding in activity. God keeps working in me to love the life we had, to realize that life is different for both of us now, and to continue to prepare me for my future whatever that may be. I'm trying to be faithful to the process and to pray for God to lead me and he does. Some day at least some of the reminders will go, and I will know that it is time, but for now these and other reminders help me to balance my life between the process of healing and the journey of living.