Reality

I think it is because Marsha passed away, but I have become increasingly aware of how often people ask me how I am doing. I've begun to wonder how often I do the same. I'm not talking about the pass me in the hall hello how are you banter that can happen between strangers, but rather the same question asked by an acquaintance. Some times I think, "Do they really want to know?" Most of the time when I say I'm OK I mean it. Life has been good to me even in these most challenging times, but I wonder how people would react if I wasn't doing OK and if what I had to say was heavy and difficult. Do they really want to know?Maybe I'm asking if I really would want to know. How much of the other guys reality do I really care to know? As I've wrestled with that question lately I have concluded that, when I ask that of someone I know, I really am open to a full answer no matter what, if that is what they want to share. I've found however that people seldom want to share. The reality is most people don't want to share arbitrarily with many different people. That's funny coming from someone who writes a publicly accessible blog. I was talking to my son tonight and he commented on my ramblings and the sharing of my grieving process and acted as if it was brave. I guess it might influence how people feel about me, but I trust that those who would be put off by my words are not those who I would feel most close to in life anyway. For a long time I've operated with the belief that to have a friend, they must know my reality not some pretense. To love me you must know me and not a public facade. Shared reality is the foundation of relationships. Genuine honesty and integrity cement friendships. That's for me!!!