Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Conversations




















My children are very different as you can see from the pictures. They both teach school, but outside of school their choices are very different. My son loves the outdoors and the back woods of Maine. He would be happier yet if he were further removed from his nearest neighbors. My daughter loves theatre and the energy of people. She is more likely to over extend herself in a people oriented life. Marsha and I raised the two of them and they are the extreme edges of the two of us. We both loved nature and the outdoors but not like my son, and we both loved theatre although not nearly to the extent of my daughter. Although they are vert different extensions of the two us conversations with both of them have become very meaningful. It is a remarkable time in my life when I can really look forward to conversations with them. I'm not saying that I didn't want to talk to them before, but conversations have become very real not the usual dad and the kids dialogue but very real and good. The joys and struggles, the progress and the setbacks of all of us are on the table and it feels right. I know I'm still dad, but I don't have to be dad if you can understand or identify with what I mean. Something switched when Marsha died maybe before to them I was a guy whose every need was already met, and all of a sudden I had needs like everybody else. I don't know what happened really but something happened that changed how we relate to one another and it is good. We're all big people now and we all have something to share. I wish Marsha could be here to share it too. She must be smiling though it is exactly what she would have really loved for me and my adult children. It's exactly what I love too!!

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