Preaching

Preaching has been a wonderful comical fascinating joyful part of my life for many years now. I was first asked to preach a sermon in February of 1980. I can remember it so clearly because I said yes in order to dedicate it to my mother-in-law who was away on a special retreat that weekend. I was trembling scared as I stood at the podium in the parish hall of Trinity Church Wrentham MA. At that point we worshiped in the parish hall during the winter to save money. My knees were shaking, my heart was thumping, I had a white knuckle grip on the lectern, and I felt like my voice was shaking as well. I've laughed about that sermon many times since. I don't have a clue what I said or even what the scriptures were for that day, but I'll never forget the experience. I ended up being asked to preach again and again around the diocese because of my leadership at Camp Dennen. God used those experiences to shake me up and mold my preaching. He took me out of the pulpit and took away my reading a written text. With each change that I knew God wanted of me, I was shaking again. I laugh when people say that my preaching seems so natural. If they only knew the struggles with God that I had in letting Him lead me to this method of preparation and preaching. What a lucky guy I am. Preaching was one of the first places where I learned I could trust God, which now seems so easy in so many areas of my life. Walk in His will and you will find God trustworthy as well. I'm sure of it.

Seek Grace

I was reading in preparation for the small group meeting tonight and I found a chapter on the Ignatius Exercises. My friend Dave has done the Ignatius Exercises with a spiritual director. It is amazing the personal growth and valuable insights he has experienced. We have had some awesome discussions of his experience and mine with my own prayer experiences. Today once more I have been reading some of Marsha's journal entries. She would read scripture every morning and write a note to God about what she thought he wanted her to know. Every morning it started "Good morning God". She sometimes mentioned people from her life, even me, but it was never about them or me, but only about what God was telling her to be or do in relation to us. She was seeking grace to live more and more as God wanted her to live. I find from time to time that reading her journals reminds me of the person she was. I don't know how I could forget after all those years, but the mind dims and our attention gets drawn away to one thing or another. It is not wrong that my life has moved in one way or another, that is just what happens. However, whatever happens I don't want to forget the amazing woman that God gave me for all those years. My present years may be important in God's plan for me and for others, but I do not ever want to lose the love and appreciation I have for God because of the  love for me He expressed in the gift of Marsha. I seek grace as well on a daily basis. I can't imagine living without it. I've said to my small group and others that one source of God's grace for me was always Marsha. God spoke through her voice so often that I learned to pay attention when she spoke. I've found no replacement for that role she played in my life. When we married I would never have thought that Marsha was going to be grace for me, I wouldn't even have thought that grace existed. Isn't life funny and amazing when God is in charge.

Storms

Yesterday was filled with storm alerts, rain and beautiful lightning strikes in the distance. We have been so dry here that a storm or two was really welcome. I didn't here of anything really damaging happening because of the storms so I guess it was just one of the ways the grass gets watered and people get to slow down. We don't like storms but we need storms. A place without enough storms is a desert. Things live and thrive in a desert but the amount of life that can be supported is amazingly small. The funny part is we only want sunny and warm, and if we got our wish we couldn't survive.

Life is much the same. We only want the good times, and in fact many people avoid anything unpleasant. Some walk away from marriages, even children when storms arise. Every storm is to be avoided. Every problem is to be blamed on someone else.  Even when it comes to our country we expect every issue to be solved for us or every burden overcome. No taxes, no unemployment, no inflation, all the while education without effort, medicine without complications, government that only agrees with us.

In my life I have grown strongest and best during the storms or at least after a storm as I figured out what I could have done different or better. Avoiding the storms only brings on more storms. I choose life not the desert.

Enjoy

Offseason Beach still remarkable

I spent my whole life in New England and I did not think it was possible to enjoy fall any better than with the beauty of the foliage of our northern climates. I have people here who are going to the hills of North Carolina to see foliage and I don't think they understand how inferior it is to the real thing. I know that one of the sights that always brought God to mind was the breathtaking color of the forrest at fall in New England. This fall has been unbelievable in Myrtle Beach. Sun virtually every day and only cloudy on the occasional. I can sit at the beach and work on my tan every day with afternoon temperatures every day between 75 and 83. The mornings for golf are averaging between 55 and 65, how perfect can you get. The sky is just a crystal blue without a cloud in the sky on most days. I get to swim almost any day I want with the warm New England summer warm even today. Once again it is a constant reminder that God is the creator and constant presence in this world of ours. I think we get this romantic idea that where we live has got to be the best.  I suspect that we forget that God is present everywhere at all times and creates reminders of who is in every place, not just our place. What catches our heart may differ from place to place, but God shows Himself in all of His creation. So enjoy! Enjoy today!  Enjoy where you are!! Just enjoy!

Spiritual Golf

Once again this afternoon I joined a couple who were playing golf. They were a pleasant couple on vacation from Pittsburgh and we had the usual gradual getting to know some things about one another. I am always willing to share that I'm a retired Episcopal priest. It amazes me how often one or more of the golfers want to have questions answered about religion or religious beliefs. Today was no exception. I'm also surprised by how many misconceptions people carry about Christianity, or even at times their own denominations. I always enjoy the opportunity to answer questions without pushing the conversation myself. If I'm patient they will come back with another thought or question looking for my input. I know I will most likely never see these folks again, but I pray that some seed from the conversation will open them to some new relationship with God. For many years I've said that our lives are pregnant with possibilities for ministry. It is not always our job to deliver the baby, but we might be meant to help it grow. I do know I walk away with a handshake at the end of the golf round leaving the possible results in Gods hands. I just got a nice round of golf out of it.

How Much Love

The day we married, so young foolish and idealistic

Gifts from God to love

Love comes in many forms and it never runs out. I have been blessed with so much love, but most certainly with the gift of the family Marsha helped me to make. She was first and greatest for sure. I can't be sure what the future would have held without Marsha but I can say that my life was going in the wrong direction fast until God gave me Marsha. She taught me one special kind of love and brought me another. Nothing can replace the experience of loving your first born child. I'm not sure I knew how to love her right, but I loved her and continue to love her abundantly. She was so smart and precious and cute and none of that went away as she grew into a woman and mother herself. My son, the baby of my family, was smart and cute and always physical. He could swim across a swimming pool at eleven months, and he never stopped that active nature. He too grew into a man of whom I can be proud. It was another love of another kind for both of my children. In the midst of raising them Marsha and I both discovered the greatest love of all, the love God has for us and the love we have for Him. All the previous expressions of love were then a mere shadow of this new and greatest love. We both knew that our love for each other and our children and family and friends were a place to express our understanding of this greater love. We were then blessed with even more love treasures. One by one our grandchildren came into our lives. These four unique persons filled our hearts with still another depth of love. I can't even describe the awesome love we both held for these grandchildren of ours. We didn't see any of them that often, but they filled our hearts every day. I think Marsha was created for many reasons, but perhaps the greatest was to be a grandmother. I think we loved our children ferociously but we got too often caught in the trap that what they did reflected on us. I think that always makes your children question your love for them, but that was never an issue with our precious four grandchildren. They are very different people the four of them, and I hope they all know that we love them for who they are. As life has changed since Marsha's death it creates the question, what else will love teach me? I only know that loving and being loved are at the center of the universe. All else revolves around it like the planets around the sun. My life revolves around the SON who taught me the most about unconditional love, and calls me to become an expert in it every day. I guess the saying love makes the world go round has much wisdom.

Active Again

Today was the fourth day in a row that I had a full day of church activity. It was as if I'm not retired. I have to admit that I enjoyed everything that was part of that four days. I feel God's presence most when I'm serving Him. I think it is also because I'm spending so much time reading and praying in preparation. God becomes the center of my mind and centers my life even more in God's Holy Spirit.  At the same time I have to admit that I'm not as used to the energy level involved in being that active in ministry as before, but I was really happy that although I'm a little tired I'm not exhausted.
I know I'm a pretty active person anyway. People comment quite often about how busy I am between church and my hobbies and activities. Marsha and I always thought we were high energy people. We had our times in the day when we were quiet but we filled the rest of our time with a variety of things. I used to tease my grandchildren when they said they were bored by saying "Only boring people get bored." but in a certain sense I guess I really do believe that. The world is filled with so many things to think and do that boredom shocks me.
I think if my body ever starts to wear out, I'll need to write ten blogs a day in order to fill my time. Active is good isn't it? I love being active, especially if the activity is serving my God.