Almost Three Years

At one and the same time it seems impossible that it has been three years without Marsha. Impossible because I still feel her influence on my life every day and yet impossible because my grieving for the most part is over. I don't often reflect on the ways she still influences my life, but when I do such reflection I see her presence all around me. I go shopping and the pro shopper is advising me in my head. I cook and my mind sees her hands doing all those same recipes over and over through our life. I read scripture and I remember discussions we had about those very words. Although we often had the same viewpoint, often I heard her wisdom in framing a passage. I've given up watching Law & Order, but I still pick programs I know she would love as well.

When I meet people I still have this need to introduce them to Marsha. She may not be there, but they can't know me without knowing Marsha it seems. I don't know how other people who are single after being married for so long feel about life, but 46 years of marriage can't just be left behind in my life. I'm thankful for so much, but almost nothing compares to the gift of life with Marsha. I say almost because the giver of our very lives will always stand in first place for me and Marsha my love.