Marriage

Mark 10:2-8  And Pharisees came up and in order to test him asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” He answered them, “What did Moses command you?” ⁴They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce, and to put her away.” But Jesus said to them, “For your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder.”


I can't say I know for sure what Marsha thought when we were married. The circumstances were not according to the normal plan for those things. We didn't have anything really and it seemed to be an end to possibilities not a beginning. I do know this much for sure; in my own heart and mind marriage was forever. It was not a religious thing, I was not at all religious, but rather a belief that a family stays together. I left no room for our marriage to end. I think Marsha had that same belief and it helped us during some tough times in our marriage. We held on because of our belief through those few difficult times when we were not sure that our love was enough. 


I look back at my life and I'm sure I would not be the man I am without having married Marsha. I'm not saying that God could not use some other relationship to mold me in some way. I am saying that our unique histories and circumstances played off each other in such a unique way that I would not be the same without her. I think that's what the two become one flesh means. I don't like the she completes me language you hear so often. I was complete without Marsha and she was complete without me. At the same time when we became on flesh, a new organic creation emerged that was a weirdly ever growing reality that was us. I don't say it completed us, rather I would say this strange variety produced after a lot of growth, two beautiful but very different blossoms from the same plant. My uniqueness did not get lost when we became one flesh it flourished. and I saw the same for Marsha.


I frequently say that God is not finished with me yet. I would never have thought that one of my grandadults would come to live with me, and yet that has been a gift. I retired and did not know if God's purpose for my ordained ministry was over, but clearly it is not. I'm still finding life and watching for God's hand day by day. What came out of all those years with Marsha is still moving through life and discovering what's next, and God is still in charge, and God is good always.