Abandoned

Mark 14:29-31  Peter said to him, “Even though they all fall away, I will not.” And Jesus said to him, “Truly, I say to you, this very night, before the cock crows twice, you will deny me three times.” But he said vehemently, “If I must die with you, I will not deny you.” And they all said the same.


We so much want to think that we are completely committed to Jesus. I remember singing that very old worship song "I Surrender All". All to Jesus I surrender, goes the words and my heart would sing as if I really meant it. Perhaps at the moment I really did mean it. I would find myself sometime later on saying the wrong thing or doing the wrong thing, far from a life completely surrendered to Jesus. I can easily see myself in Peter's story, and I'm not claiming to be worthy of being a saint like Peter. 


It seems so easy to abandon Jesus in moments of challenge sometimes. In the immediate circumstance our human minds and hearts see very human choices. I will say even with some humility that with God's help I make the wrong choices less often, but at times it is still too easy to forget my surrender and fall away. Like with Peter Jesus even knows that I will. He sees the limits I have placed even when they are invisible to me. He understands my character with all it's strengths and weaknesses. Even knowing all that, even as I abandon him, he never abandons me. 


I return to the path in humility acknowledging my failure and he welcomes me with open arms, hoping I've learned another lesson to help me avoid the difficulties in my future. Although everyone else may abandon me because of my mistakes, Jesus never will. God is so good to me.