Mike's Brother

One of the guys I play golf with when I walk in the afternoon is named Mike. He was a postal employee in Indiana before he retired to Myrtle Beach. I hadn't seen him a quite awhile. I had heard that his brother was living with he and his wife and was very sick. When I saw Mike today and asked about his brother he told me he had passed away three weeks ago. His brother had been diagnosed with cancer just about the same time a year ago as Marsha and had lived with horrible pain and suffering ever since. Of course I expressed my sympathy, but inside I was giving thanks for both myself and Marsha that she had not lasted this long and suffered all that time. Sometimes it is hard to think that I was grateful that Marsha passed quickly and with very little discomfort. I really still do want her with me. Times like today remind me that this feeling of gratitude is not selfish as if I didn't want to go through more time caring for her. The reality is she is perfect with our heavenly father and her passing was merciful. I would have done anything she needed as long as she needed it, but I was spared and so was she. I felt sad as I looked in Mike's eyes because he wasn't spared the pain of his brother's suffering. I would miss Marsha the same either way, and I do.