A Good Daddy

Everyone wants to have a good dad. Parents are so important in those early stages of life and a good dad can have an influence that lasts a lifetime. The picture today is of my son-in-law Rich reading to the girls. My grandkids have all had good dads. Not perfect but good dads. I don't think they need to spend a lot of energy in their lives overcoming damage done to them by negligent or abusive fathers. I have spent many hours talking to adults who suffered abuse of one kind or another and seen how difficult it can be to be healed of such issues. Even if a dad is near perfect however the perception by their child may not see it that way.

For a Christian the real perfect dad is God himself. We all have earthly father's who gave us physical life. We also all have a spiritual father who gives us spiritual life. This spiritual daddy will only work for our good. At times I'm not sure we believe that. By our actions we show that we don't trust God. We know what God wants us to do and yet we lack the trust to do it. We act as though daddy would abuse us like some of our earthly fathers. We act as though we need to take care of ourselves because God can't be trusted. We lose the peace that obedience to God can bring. Trust your spiritual father in this case father knows best.

With What Eye

The picture today is my granddaughter Bekah who last spring graduated from the Grady School of Journalism at The University of Georgia. She is part of my theatrical family. Sorry Rich it's your family even if you don't want to be theatrical. Bekah is looking at a scene she is bout to film in the picture to the right. You can see her mind calculating and assessing the scene. She sees differently than I do. We talk about movies sometimes and we can walk out of a movie with a completely different impression because she immediately analyzes every facet of the film while I just watch for entertainment and enlightenment. I have looked at her and said, "What movie did you go to?"

My son, as an educator of troubled young people, looks at his kids with a different set of eyes too. I listened to him this summer as we talked about school and he spoke of his focus on his strength, which is compassion. It was funny to some extent because my son was and is a tough kid. Not the type you would think looks at others with eyes of compassion. It is how he gets through his students external protective mechanisms, and reaches the heart of the matter. Another set of eyes that are not mine. Many people came through my office and I was helpful to many, and I'm not saying I didn't feel compassion, but I was not looking through eyes of compassion as my son described it.

My set of eyes when they are clear and focused looks at the world through God's eyes. They are listening eyes. Taking in the data from the surrounding world with a filter that asks God what he wants me to see. I am amazed how God shows me something different in people who outwardly look the same and have the apparent same situations. In my last parish through the soup kitchen I met and would talk to a variety of prostitutes who were part of the daily crowd. Not appearing any different to the outward eye and yet one God would show me to be a poor little girl trapped, while another who outwardly looked no different God would show me to be a hardened threat. God's grace of listening eyes led me and protected me. Listening eyes helped God accomplish his purpose and so often surprised me with his power that I could not miss his hand at work around me. I would be heading someplace which seemed important, and God would suddenly send me in a different direction, because he helped me see a situation that needed immediate action. So often I would show up somewhere not knowing why only to find out that it was exactly where God needed me. For my work listening eyes were invaluable, but I don't think just for my work.

I think we can all work on our eyesight. I could work at developing more of my son's compassionate eyes, because I think God wants us to have that kind of eyes. I could develop better eyes for seeing the beauty and drama around me that my granddaughter sees so well. You could probably come up with other kinds of vision that are gifts from God to be used for good.

If the eyes are the windows of the soul. What will people see in your eyes and what will your soul see through your eyes. With what eyes will you see. I once was blind but now I see. I wasn't blind but I couldn't see. Thank you God for healing my different kind of blindness.

Adaptation

The trees to the right are from Myrtle Beach State Park. The prevailing wind is from the ocean to the right so the trees form themselves to accommodate the constant bending by the wind. Every living creature lives in an environment where accommodation is part of survival. For us the issue is how and what are willing to adapt. You all know my life has gone through tremendous change in one year. I retired, I moved, and I lost my wife of 45 years all in seven months. Adaptation required!!! My life is not the same and will not be the same. No rule says it has to be worse, but it cannot be the same. Where am I willing to make adaptations to my new reality. Will they happen like the trees bending because of natural circumstances, or will I choose what adaptations make sense for me in some ordered thoughtful prayerful way. I think I am recognizing now a reality that has been active in my life always. I have always been adapting to my world. My life has adapted to Marsha, to new students, a new boss, a new church and many big and small environmental conditions. Often they have occurred without much thought or planning, they just happened for survival or to fit in. I'm not sure God wants us to adapt like those trees to the prevailing wind of the day. I think we have more responsibility than that. I think God has given us clear standards and instructions to help us adapt to our world, and just bending to the times does not necessarily meet God's requirements. Help us all Lord as life requires adjustment and amendment and adaptation, that we don't lose our way and walk away from you.

Find the Joy

I was so lucky to share a Christian life with someone who understood joy. I don't mean happiness which is momentary and transient, but joy, that inner knowledge of God's favor which controls your outlook no matter what the circumstances. In the picture Marsha was leading a Cursillo with her three spiritual directors. Her witness always shared the turmoil and pain of her early life that had been healed by God and which also showed that deep joy, that deep assurance of God's love that filled her soul. Nothing can shake that joy once we find it. We can allow ourselves to be carried along like a floating twig in a white water river, or we can anchor our lives on the rock where even a flood could not shake us. Life will always bring challenges. We live in human fragile bodies in a world clouded with self-centered human hearts. We will experience pain because of what life brings us or circumstances which effect those we love, but joy is possible no matter what. I know Marsha helped me to understand this reality and I think I helped her understand joy as well. I know now that when life creates difficulty, my fault or others, I look inside for the joy, the stability, that will settle me and help me see the future through God's eyes. Joy comes in the morning because in our conscious moments we can choose to look inward and find God's assurance. With practice this joy even makes it through the night. I've got that joy, joy, joy, joy,down in my heart, does not say smile on my face. I'll settle for God's joy anytime.

Education for Ministry

In the picture to the right I am graduating from Andover Newton Theological School. I had completed all the work needed for a Masters in Divinity. Part of my studies were completed part time because I had children in college and needed to keep teaching to help support us all. I learned a lot in seminary but I was sure glad I was a mature Christian entering the process. I watched young men and women enter seminary with some faith and a sense of calling but watched as the education stripped away their faith and confused their calling. By the time they were done many did not know what they were called to do. The church requires as much education as you would get to become a doctor or a lawyer in order to be set apart for a specific piece of the ministry of the church. Notice I said set apart not above. Our ministry as ordained individuals is meant only to equip and compliment the ministry of all believers, not to replace that ministry. The only ministry I had not done frequently before I was ordained was consecration of the elements for communion, and baptism (although I could have baptized). I had been in a situation where I not only was encouraged and equipped for ministry, I was challenged to be a minster. My education for ministry was for ordained ministry not for ministry. My education for ministry was in church communities like my present parish in Surfside. I know the world has become more complicated since the days of the Apostles, but can you imagine St. Peter being told he needs 90 credits of college work before he could be a minister. He learned to minister in a community that encouraged and challenged him to be a minister even against his apparent human weaknesses. He was then equipped by the Holy Spirit which has been given to all of us who believe. Are you willing to be mentored to find the ministry to which you are called? Remember, because you are baptized you are a minister. The only question is how well you are doing your ministry. Today, September 3, 2009 you have twenty four hours like everybody else. What you do with those hours is your ministry. At the end of the day you will either have done it well or poorly or somewhere in between, but you will have completed your ministry for the day. Don't let it happen by accident, invite the Holy Spirit to use your day. He has all the education you need.

Matching Dresses

I've written before about the way Marsha was a little obsessive compulsive. She would make an item of clothing in one color and if she liked it, every color had to follow. The picture to the right is not about that compulsion. Marsha was so proud of her family. In the picture Bekah and gramma are dressed alike. That was only one way of Marsha saying she's with me. We all stood in Marsha's spotlight. Sometimes the spotlight showed the glow of achievement and sometimes the stains on our life, but we all stood in Marsha's spotlight. Even when she wanted us to see the stains it was because she wanted everyone to see how wonderful her family was and didn't want people to disapprove of us. It was no surprise to me when she wanted young Dana to juggle, Merrie to sing, and she wanted me to do the whole celebration service. She always wanted people to notice her family. That all her grandchildren played a part in her service would have thrilled her. However, she couldn't save us from ourselves or from the bumps and bruises of the world. She would polish us up again and send us shiny once more into life, but she couldn't save us from troubles.

I think being part of God's family is like that. God wants to be with me like Marsha and Bekah in the picture, in fact God's presence is within us not beside us. God wants others to notice his family, all their gifts and talents and the wonderful things they do. He wants us to offer all our life's achievements at the service which celebrates his life. We don't have to perform them in church but he would love us to offer them in our hearts to him. He also shines us up and sends us back into life polished and beautiful without signs of our self induced scars or worldly bruises. Sometimes I can see God with his arm around me, like Marsha in the picture, holding me close and smiling not because I'm great but because I'm his. Thank you God for adopting me into your family. I love it here.

Back to the Beach

Today was my first day back to our beach. It wasn't a great sunny day but the air was warm and the breeze comfortable, and the thought of being in our place inviting. I didn't realize how much I had missed the feeling of being where we loved to go together and where she had desired me to spread her ashes. Our love of Myrtle Beach State Park makes the ocean even better, Being there now always feels like we are together. I always loved the ebb and flow of the ocean. Some of you know that I ebb and flow with it as I'm floating in the waves. It just feels like the rhythm of living. God smiles on me when I'm at the ocean and even more when I'm at our beach at our ocean. Now I'm really home.