Journey of the Disciple

Sometimes I wonder why I presume that because I decided to follow the risen Christ I am not subject to the same doubts and questions and fears that the original disciples faced. Today in the church year we sit between the death of Jesus on Good Friday and the resurrection celebration of Easter. Many times it is like a head long rush to get from one to the other. Meanwhile the disciples were hiding in the upper room for fear of meeting the same end as Jesus. It was not until the sighting of the resurrected Jesus until the disciples began to break that fear. I can't pretend that following the direction of Christ doesn't create fear in me. I may not fear death and be hiding in the upper room, but every time I pull back from a bold choice in favor of anxiety or remain quiet when I think others might reject me I am living in that same reality. I want to identify with the disciples and not avoid this uncomfortable time in the church year. The solution for the disciples was the risen Christ and Holy Spirit. All my fears if I recognize them and bring them to Jesus can be overcome as well.