
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Life Long Learner

Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Just A Ducky Day

Monday, December 28, 2009
Healing
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Work?

Saturday, December 26, 2009
Dedication


My son is a fanatical fisherman. On his way to school at 6 AM he will stop at a pond along the way and make ten casts to see if he can catch anything. Almost nothing comes out of his mouth with as much excitement as the last episode of fantastic fishing. The fish is the picture is one of thirty something landlocked salmon that he caught in one twenty four hour trip. He has had some of the most unique and spectacular experiences around his ability and desire to fish. The second picture is of one of my granddaughters in her costume for a play. In that side of the family the fanatical efforts have to do with theatre, performance, and film. My daughter and both her children have theatre at the heart of all they do. Bekah used to insist on having seen the Tony Award winning show on Broadway each year. They always have an Oscars party and any other award program to do with acting or theatre. In the case of both my son and daughter they show tremendous dedication to the areas of their interest. Dedication is so important to become expert at something, but it is even more important for it to be enthusiastic dedication. What if our dedication had to do with kindness or generosity or unconditional love. What if we put as much effort into our marriages or parenting. We have so much that is important that we take for granted. So much that we could do to really make a difference in this world but that gets second rate energy. Nothing wrong with dedication to what makes us happy like fishing and theatre, but maybe we could find a little more dedication to what makes everyone's life better.
Friday, December 25, 2009
Christmas Is Here

This morning in prayer I couldn't help but think of Marsha. I can see her running around with all the last minute details running through her head. The joy must be overwhelming her. Can you imagine Marsha with her love for making this the greatest day ever being invited to the birthday party of the King of Kings in person and without any reigns attached to what she can do. And imagine the celebration she is part of today if we in our weakness celebrate with such abandon that the economy depends on it, how much more amazing the celebration in heaven. That big smile of her face holding hands maybe with Kathy Lynch and singing to JJ at the top of her lungs Happy Birthday to you, tears of joy streaming down her glorious face. I love you honey, have the best day ever.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
We're Peculiar Creatures

I love to watch people. It is a hobby of mine. I don't judge others any more than I judge myself. I know I'm strange in some ways as I have written about that before. In fact many of you might think I'm strange for even writing a blog like this. The point is I've come to the conclusion that we human beings are an odd lot. We all have these little idiosyncrasies that for the most part are quite charming and harmless. They make us a little unique, but often we use them as weapons against one another. I can remember sitting around while one or another person is being ridiculed for a speech pattern or common mistake. Perhaps that is the most peculiar thing of all. Our need to be judge of the world. It's much more fun for me to watch the world with an inner chuckle at our little peculiarities than to look for others weaknesses to exploit. One leads to a smile the other to self protection. You see if I'm judging others I'm always fearful that they are judging me. Let's just admit it we're all just a peculiar bunch and get over it.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Marked

Monday, December 21, 2009
Decorate! Decorate! Decorate! Not!!!

Sunday, December 20, 2009
Rest

Friday, December 18, 2009
Christmas Is Coming & I Don't Know A Goose

Marsha got all wrapped up in Christmas. She created an Advent calendar that was the size of a wall with huge pockets for each day and serious presents in every pocket for every day for the grandchildren. That was followed by an over done number of presents for Christmas morning. The little ones, like in the picture, would get tired of opening presents and want to play with the ones they opened but had so many more to open.
At the same time that Marsha was preparing for this extravaganza, I was wearing an old beat up coat. On my chest was a big flapping cloth sign that said this is my sister's coat and over the right side pocket was a big flapping sign that said this is my brother's pocket. I wore the coat everywhere we went for the entire Advent season and when people questioned why, I told them that my brother Jesus was born poor and he had a heart for the poor and he still had lots of poor brothers and sisters. If they wanted to help them out they could put money right in my brother's pocket. I never had less than $1100 in the pocket by Christmas. The money would be allocated to ministries for the poor by a church group helping me decide what to do with the funds. Marsha didn't mind so much if I was wearing clergy clothes because people figured something was up, but she hated when we would go somewhere and I wore the coat while wearing civilian clothes. One year it was a really ugly woman's coat that was obviously a woman's coat. She hated that the most. People would often look at me like I was crazy which might be true. We did cooperate with one another in our different preparations for Christmas but our minds were in different places. I couldn't put on that coat every day and not think about Jesus and not commercialism. Marsha also always gave to the poor as well as family in her present buying food preparing way. How do you prepare for Christmas? Where is your heart these days?
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Specially Created
In Bible study this morning we were reading a passage in Romans. It said that we are meant to offer ourselves as a living sacrifice, and then that we will all be parts of the body of Christ with things to do for the proper functioning of the body. Each of us is meant to have specific specially given abilities for the good of the whole body. Spiritually created for a purpose like the special abilities built into so many different creatures like this toad. I don't want to be a toad but I want to fit in my place like he fit in his.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Family & Christmas

Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Walking the Beach
Monday, December 14, 2009
The Ingathering
Last year about this time Marsha and I were out shopping for a grandmother and four of her grandchildren that were in need. This was for one of the wonderful outreach opportunities at The Church of the Resurrection. It is amazing the sheer volume of food and presents that will be accumulated at the church by Thursday night in order to begin their journey to the needy recipients. Today I was shopping. I couldn't afford to take a whole family the way we did last year, but I knew I had to take a needy individual. Shopping is done. I think I have everything I need. Wrapping comes next.
I have been getting Christmas cards from friends, especially from back home in Massachusetts. Many of them have little notes of comfort and point out that this might be a hard season for me. Some of the authors have gone through this season of life already and know of what they speak. As I was shopping today the experience was filled with that mixture of emotions common to my life since Marsha died. A joy in every selection thinking it might please someone who needs to be able to smile on Christmas. It was also a reminder of our trip to the same stores last year to fill the needs of that family. Marsha always got such a great pleasure from giving. Her heart was in it completely. It was a day of feeling connected again and a day to remember what I miss. I'm glad the joy of giving was stronger today than the sadness of not being able to do it with Marsha. She'd be happy about that too.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Lighthouses

Friday, December 11, 2009
Hospitality
I have often said that one of the problems in the church is that many people want to use the gifts God has given them but few people are willing to receive them. What good is the gift of healing if nobody will receive the laying on of hands. What good is the gift of teaching if nobody will come to be taught. The Body of Christ is paralyzed because we want to be so independent that we don't need each other. Well that's what it feels like to not have anyone accept my gift of hospitality. This week feels good. Marsha & I loved having company and people felt loved, well I still do love to serve people and make them feel welcome in the home God has given me.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Winter Treat
I believe there is a rhythm to life and we can find it the music of the waves, but ponds don't sing loud enough for me. Even just walking on the beach with the waves beside me just somehow seems to synchronize my body with the ebb and flow intended for my life. I relax and let life move at God's pace instead of mine. Yesterday was one of those great days in winter for the beach. It was comfortable in the seventies and although the sun was not out constantly it came out and went in changing the appearance of the beach and the water each time. I had my shirt off part of the time even though the wind was howling and the waves were crashing. It restores my soul as part of God's plan for me. I think that is why I love floating in the ocean so much. That rhythm just gets in my bones and I feel renewed. I'm glad Marsha chose that place for her ashes, now I have two reasons to walk by the sea, each with it;s own way of touching me and healing me and renewing me.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Survival Scars
Monday, December 7, 2009
Passion

Sunday, December 6, 2009
Dragonflies
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Advent & America?
Dawn is such a beautiful time of the day. I enjoy the moments of looking at the day in this it's time of promise. At dawn the reality is not quite here but you can begin to see the hope of the new day. Often nobody else is moving around my environment so whatever the day will bring is not going to happen at dawn, but I'm often confident what the day will eventually bring. It's that here now but not quite moment filled with expectation that gives us double enjoyment. Nothing is immediate. Today can't happen without yesterday. Whatever is meant for tomorrow needs the experience of today. We can't get to anything of value without the fullness of time that leads us to it. I have some nice toys that give me real joy like my Ipod and this computer. Who would have thought that I would be sending a blog out into the blogosphere almost every day. In the fullness of time there it was, a magical possibility that I didn't even know I was waiting for, but indeed I had to wait until I was ready for it and it was ready for me. We need to be a more patient people. We need the Advent principle. Be ready but constantly prepare, wait but wait in expectation. Not settle for what we think we need, but really search for what is best. Waiting is a lost art and a desirable one too. I guess that's why Advent comes first.
Friday, December 4, 2009
A Small Change Big Effect
Things are on the surface not much different now except there is no sleeping body on the coach while I watch TV or go to sleep, but it feels very different. My most difficult time of the day is most certainly night time. The rest of life works pretty easily and the memories are good and wonderful and make life better. Evenings are a different experience. Although she didn't make any noise the house seems too quiet. Although I have on the same TV and I even listen louder than Marsha would allow it is still too quiet. It is not all bad. I do think I should miss her and that is the time I am most aware of what I've lost and what I miss. I would never have thought that loneliness could be a gift but in a strange way it is.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Control An Illusion

I wonder how much control you think you have over your own life. A lot? A little? None? Some? I've recently been thinking about life like a river. Often the river is flowing along in a kind of meandering peaceful sort of flow and we feel like we are in complete control. Other times are more like the river in the picture and it feels like nothing can stop, slow down or change the course of the water. In rivers like this you can see boulders that prove no match for the swirling agitated flow. Still other times feel as out of control as Niagara Falls which is the other picture. Such a powerful falling flow that we can feel overwhelmed. In any case all of those rivers are out of control. They all obey gravity alone. I'm not trying to say that our lives are that much out of our control, but out of control they are. Going back to the movie "Blind Side" that I wrote about previously, you can see his life just happened. The chances of someone in Michael's situation finding any resources to help let alone the fantastic blessings that just appeared in his path are miniscule. Or take the four police officers in Washington state who were starting the day at a breakfast spot going over cases it seems when suddenly they are killed and their families lives altered forever. Or something as simple as your wife getting sick, or you lose your job, or your marriage ends. You could write about many many other boulders that could change the flow of your river dramatically. One problem is facing our own lack of control which can create fear. The other problem is assigning too much control to everybody else. How many people in Michael's circumstances have we condemned because we wanted to think they had complete control of their lives and environments. My river of life has run a unique course this year. At some points I have had a generous amount of control over my path, but at others I've had no control over my situation, just my response. We all have a similar mixture in our journey down life's river.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
God's Vision
I grew up as an intense competitor. Card games in my family were not fun. My wife avoided games and me with every once of her being. I am much better in my old age, and cooperation and coordination are now admirable goals. Family life, work environments, churches, neighborhoods and other ways people interact would be so much better if we could live that cooperative spirit. Psychologists and counselors find the holiday season particularly busy because being with families causes so much stress. The group we should be most willing to be cooperative with is among the most challenging. One of my favorite poems is Mending Walls by Robert Frost and particularly his questioning what walls keep in and what walls keep out and how he is not sure it is such a good thing. Cooperation means connecting not separating, it means joining not giving up on, it means investing not selling out. Loneliness is dead when we cooperate.
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