I was watching a movie today on TV and a song was being sung while a couple was kissing. Now I have always Loved "The Beach Boys", they are from my era and it is just happy music. I like happy music. The song was "Don't Worry Baby" and it became as if Marsha was kissing me and singing to me, "Don't worry baby everything will turn out all right." From time to time I still need a good weep just for the fun of it. I know she wants me to be all right, and for the most part I am, but it is a process and it seems to have an ebb and flow that is unpredictable. I try to fathom what all right will look like if I get there, but it escapes me. I enjoy life and I have so much in my life that is meaningful and exciting and yet I'm not sure life is all right yet. What does all right look like? What does all right feel like? How would I recognize it if it appeared right in front of me?
One thing is certain and that is that God has been good to me. I know that I can trust Him with my future because He has been so trustworthy in my past. I have depended on Him in little things and big things for so long and he has never let me down. Especially as Marsha and I walked through our end time together, God was there for Marsha and for me. So maybe "Don't Worry Baby" makes me weep, but I know everything will be all right, and God will help me recognize it.
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