Self-centeredness

I've always thought that the greatest and in fact original sin is self-centeredness. Even in very young children I see the human condition as one where we want what we want when we want it and how we want it. Babies show this desire as well as any adult. Very early in life children learn to be manipulative and will run their world if allowed. God does not want us to live this me first lifestyle.

I used to tell parents who brought their babies to be baptized that baptism was for the forgiveness of this self-centered nature and at the same time to give us the resource of the Holy Spirit. We are given the presence of God because God is love and his desire is for us to share love with others. To be a lover as God desires us to be means to always act in the best interest of others. To put their good sometimes ahead of our own. In the picture are two lovers who completely understood that reality. Marsha was a constant example to me of a giver. She would give her time, her energy, and her resources to almost anyone who crossed her path. She did it with the most genuine desire to do good. She did this not to gain the favor of the other person but just because se knew it was right. Virginia has the same heart. She called last night because she just cares so much. I met her when she wanted to give of herself to others, and she continues to be that kind of person. God wants us to be lovers who love just because it is right. That is the unconditional love that is the very nature of our God. That is the unconditional love we possess in the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. If we are willing to give that love away it will grow in us. Lord help us all to be lovers.

Catching The Sun

A friend of mine here in Myrtle Beach took this picture one morning. What a beautiful setting as his friend reaches up and appears to hold the sun in his hands. The beach, the waves , the sunrise, the little hazy color to the sky, you have to admire this picture. It seems like this young man has the atomic energy of the solar engine captured in his control. It looks like he could almost throw that power at any need. Light a city, drive for years, anything at all, and the energy is there.

Sometimes it feels like that when I feel the power of the Son in my life. It's not the energy of the creation but rather the energy of the creator. God promises to live in us if we remain in Him. This is not an empty promise or a meaningless reality. Scripture says that we can do more than we can ask or imagine through Christ who lives in us. I know I love those electric moments when I know the power of God because he's the energy in my engine. What a picture, each of us can capture the Son because he chooses to be the power in us.

The Road Less Traveled

This summer my son and I did some traveling in search of the mystical moose. Went down highways and byways and as you see in the picture today we found more than a few roads less traveled. I can tell you one thing for sure. Some roads less traveled are that way for a reason. One of my favorite poems is The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost. The impression in the poem is that the road less taken is the desirable one. Well that is not always so. It's easy to see that less than half of us go to prison for example, so the road less taken can lead to prison. Some would say that the you need to do your own thing, that it is whatever floats your boat. Others that times are changing and the old roads are obsolete, fast highways are the rule of the day not slow country roads. I'm not saying that old is good and new is bad, but how do you know which is which? Some old is to be treasured wisdom, some new is the greatest thing since sliced bread. How do you know which is which? What standards do you use to decide or is it just a decision made at a whim? Remember some roads less traveled are untraveled for a reason and some super highways have massive numbers of fatalities. Pick your road with care, that is the point of Frosts poem, once you make a choice it can be almost impossible to turn back. Gratefully in the picture after miles we found a place to turn around before the car was wrecked.

Juggling

We went to an outdoor free concert that had some bands that Dana knows who perform around the country. He loves to juggle to music which is where Marsha got the idea to have him juggle at her memorial services. Dana juggles most anything and often I just sit and gaze in amazement that he can do the things he does with moving objects. My hand eye coordination does not work that way. I have tried juggling objects in limited ways in the past and it was in limited ways because I was a complete failure. Juggling objects seems like it is making objects move in a predictable way that is ordered enough that you know where to reach for the moving object before it falls. This a unique skill.

To me juggling things in life is often the opposite of juggling objects. It is holding onto an unpredictable disorderly series of events without letting any of them become a disaster. You've heard it said that a person had too many balls in the air at once, meaning to many situations to handle without problems. I am good at this type of juggling. It is not that I don't sometimes let a ball drop. It is that I usually can be alright with a lot of things that have not been brought to closure without having a difficulty. My mind can hold onto a list of these incomplete situations for long periods of time without needing to cross them off as completed. In good time or in God's time they will rise to the surface for their turn at completion or maybe they won't. Marsha was so frustrated with this. It was fine if I didn't tell her what was on my list, but if I did then it somehow went on her list and she would worry that it wasn't complete. She needed to cross it off her list and so she would hound me to get off of mine. It has always been interesting to me the multitude of complex individuals that God has created. When we can grasp that one is not better than another just different, we begin to find value in what the others can do. We stop trying to fit everyone into our mold. I don't know about you, but I don't fit into anyones mold very well. I hope the only mold I fit into is the one God used to create me. I know that is the only right one for me.

Poverty

In the picture my grandson Forrest is standing in front of a sign in Kingston Jamaica stating that a Burger King selection costs $285 Jamaican. Inflation in Jamaica is so dramatic that purchasing almost anything in the Jamaican economy is almost impossible for Jamaicans. People live in poverty because the economy is so messed up and unemployment is over 65%. Jamaica is not even the poorest country in our part of the world and yet we saw real poverty, people who were in danger of death because of their poverty. People who have been among the poor often comment how joyful they are in the midst of their poverty.

I also remember when Mother Theresa came to the United States. She was asked what she thought about America, and her response was, "I've never seen such poor people." Can you imagine Mother Theresa whose ministry is picking up the dead and dying from the gutters of Calcutta thinking that we are among the poorest of people.

In Luke's gospel he writes blessed are the poor, while in Matthew's gospel he writes blessed are the poor in spirit. It's interesting that among the poor in goods and services joy is abundant, while where there is great wealth of possessions you find abundant discontent. In the United States you find fear and self protection except among the poor where you find great sharing.

Which is the greater poverty anyway?

God's Country

I have picked pictures today of Acadia National Park in Maine looking down from the top of the Beehive Trail, and a picture of two of my grandchildren walking on the beach at Myrtle Beach State Park.We use the phrase "This is God's country" so often. Well what isn't God's country? I have travelled in this country quite a bit. I have sat on the rim of the Grand Canyon. I have have stood by Old Faithful in Yellowstone. I have looked up and up at the giant redwood trees in Muir Woods. I've been to Niagra Falls, the Bay of Fundi, Howe's Caverns and other spectacular locations. In every case people say that it is God's country. Some people love the land they farm and call it God's country, even if others look at it as nothing but miles and miles of corn. We miss that all of it is God's country, and not just here in the good old USA. I spent a few hours on the beach again on Saturday and it never gets old. I talk to some people who moved here because of the beach and have not been there in years. I find it hard to understand how something so beautiful could lose it's attraction. How do you get bored with God's amazing handiwork.

One of the most impressive and wonderful places I would call God's country is to look at a transformed life. To look at a person who has become God's country. A person in whom who see the glimmer of that grand panorama of God's grace. I hope I can continue to grow in grace and be a place that might be called God's country. We were all created in the image of God, and when we allow that image to become visible in us we are like the rest of God's magnificent creation, we are God's country.

A Time for Everything Under Heaven

Marsha's sister Janice has been struggling with the sickness of her father-in-law. He also had lung cancer and yesterday he passed away. It has become obvious that we have reached the time I life when a time to mourn is the reality. It is hard to imagine that starting with Marsha's brother, then her mother, then Marsha herself, and now my brother-in-law's father, death has been prowling among those I love and mourning is in season again.

It is true that in life we have a season for everything under heaven. In my humble opinion nothing we do can protect us from the multiplicity of events that life can bring. Money can't insulate us from sorrow. Even good health won't turn away sorrows like divorce or the loss of financial security. Children can make poor decisions and leave us to worry or grandchildren can have health problems. A car accident can change everything in a split moment or a house fire or ...... You get the idea. We need to cope with sorrow and pain and we need to deal with happiness. We can spoil our children with too much and suffer the consequences as well. The issue is what we do with the situations that life presents. We can't prevent circumstances beyond our control but we can control our response and where we look for strength and comfort when life brings challenges. Be with us Lord as we face our sorrows.

Big Kid

This summer I had some chances to see my great grandson. He is an active inquisitive little boy who is in almost constant motion. It was fun to watch him interact with the big people around him, because he charmed us all in a minute and he knew it. We big kids were crawling through the high grass and doing all sorts of unusual adult behaviors to entertain a 1 year old. My son also made the big kid in me come out to play. Although I had my moments of wondering what in the world I was doing on top of mountains and hiking the rim of ravines and other remote activities, I must admit it brought out the kid in me. I think we forget the exhilaration that comes with the willingness to explore things anew. We get stuck in a rut of old perceptions and stuck in the rut of old expectations and stop looking at life with young inquisitive eyes. We settle for less, but God wants us never to lose our young eyes and our young spirit. Let the child out, it's time to play.

Marriage

One of the happiest days of my life was the day I walked my daughter Merrie down the aisle. I'm not sure how well any of us are prepared for marriage. Close personal relationships are challenging. I don't know any two people that can live together and not have differences about something. Marriage is certainly one of those relationships. Marsha worked so hard for the wedding of our daughter and she loved it as well. Little did we know that so many years later their marriage would be a delight to them (Rich & Merrie) and a delight to us. Our own marriage was one of those so called miracles. Marsha and I started with no money and a lot of immaturity and life issues to overcome. Some of the years of our marriage were difficult for us and for our children. Our home was not always the happiest place, but we were committed to make our marriage work. Because we worked at our marriage, I know it became a delight to us and I think also to others who knew us. As a priest I so often spoke of how our human marriages are meant to be a sign similar to Christ's love for his bride the church. Our love for one another is meant to be as obvious as the love of Christ for the church. I pray that people saw that kind of love between Marsha and I in the latter years of our marriage. I know I felt like I glowed when I was with her, and I loved to see the glint in her eye when she looked at me. I was so proud of what we had done with our lives. I look at my family, both my children as well as my grandchildren, and I see the influence our love has had even with a difficult start. I know I would not be the man I am today without the grace poured out upon my life by my good fortune of sharing life with Marsha. Some people look at that kind of commitment today as unnecessary. Living together is enough for some and leaving a marriage quickly when something that didn't work out as planned are all too common. The best comes from doing the work, and that is true in marriage as in all of life. Marsha you blessed me so much by hanging in there with me and working to make it work. Love happened along the way, precious love.

Surprises

I'm not an easy person to surprise. My brain is always calculating what is going on and why. Anything out of the ordinary tends to get my attention. The picture is of a surprise birthday party that my daughter arranged for Marsha and I when we turned sixty. Our friends Donna and Bruce from Whitman had come to take us for a ride and that was a little unusual. It was close to our birthdays and I thought this is fishy but we went for the ride. When her cell phone rang with an excuse to get back to church I said oh a surprise party in Marsha's ear. I went along with the surprise though. I like to be surprised so I don't know why I spend so much energy to make sure I'm not. Go figure. The picture is of those from my side of the family that came to the party. Life is surprising all by itself. Planning is both needed and useless all at the same time. When you think you have life all laid out in some sort of order, you better look for monkey wrench. Some of those unplanned circumstances are welcome and some are not but life will bring them anyway. Adjust your life and go on. Sometimes that's easy and sometimes it is not, but adjust and go on is the only real choice. We might put the going on part off for a while and sit in limbo, but eventually it is go on. The alternative is to try to continue to live in yesterday but God does not live in yesterday. We can collect what we want to bring from yesterday and make sure we don't lose it as we go on, but God moves on available only in today. I like God's surprises so much that today is where I choose to live. I'm looking God for the next surprise but your surprises I never see coming.

Missing the Kisses

When all the pictures were collected from our great box of pictures and our albums it amazed me how many of the pictures included Marsha and I with our lips together. You would think that's all we did was kiss. But boy do I miss those kisses. I'm mostly an internal person. I live in my head a great deal and often I am unaware of my body, although when I'm healthy I find ways to exercise. I miss Marsha in a lot of ways but the affectionate touch is probably the single greatest. I say this as Marsha visited me again last night. Once more she was with me in my sleep in a way that seemed too real, as we just held each other and kissed.

They say you need to have several hugs a day in order to be well adjusted, and more than that to have emotional growth. Well I had a well balanced life for sure. It has been hard to even recognize that void in my life. I think the very real dream visits of Marsha have brought it to the surface and yes I think that is at least one of the places where I feel the loss strongly.

I do know the touch of the everlasting arms. I do know the comfort of being held in the palm of God's hand. I do know the power of God's presence that is as close as the air I breathe. At the same time I have always said that sometimes we need God with skin on. We need the God that resides in other people. Marsha was for me so often that God with skin on. Tired or overwhelmed, joyful or depressed, Marsha would wrap her arms around me and life was good. We take for granted so much in the ebb and flow of life. Again we need to put more value on the little things we receive from our relationships. Cherish the moments don't get lost in the natural conflicts without getting equally consumed by the natural warmth. Don't hold onto the thorns and miss the flowers. Boy I miss her kisses.

A Human Need

Marsha had a chance to spend a week as part of the crew of the tall ship Ernestina. The week was a scientific journey around Cape Cod waters. She was thrilled beyond belief when she was allowed to steer the ship as it passed through the Cape Cod Canal. When we look at the study of information you can simplify our understanding by recognizing that mathematics is a discipline that is used to explain or quantify science and the natural order, English is a discipline used mainly to explain or illuminate the social order, and theology is a discipline used to explain or illuminate the supernatural order. Although science and mathematics are measurable and express everything with great certainty, a great many of their conclusions are not fact but workable theory. Many of the conclusions over time have been shown to be over simplified and incomplete, but for the moment they are expressed as measured facts. The Enlightenment concluded that humanity would perfect itself over time. That human society would eliminate wars and conflicts because we would develop greater understanding of man and nature. This view is still held by many even though Hitler and Stalin and wars and conflict have continued to rage on.

Why dismiss the study of God's workings as useless when the other disciplines get so much room for error. Why only dismiss the church when humans fail to live better and not the humanist theories of sociology or psychology which over estimate the goodness of humanity. Theology helps us understand ourselves and our creation as well as any other discipline. It has it's proper place for those who seek true knowledge.

Healing

In nature we find lots of signs of the power to heal that God builds into his creation. The ugly bumps on this tree are formed to heal the tree from an infiltration that could kill the tree. It is interesting that the wood in these ugly scars is often the most beautiful. Five years ago I found out that I had a cancer in my colon. Surgery was required to remove a section of my colon and the two pieces were then reconnected. I loved my surgeon. Charlie Thayer is a fine surgeon, a wonderful Christian man and just a fun guy, but his fine technical work to remove and reconnect this important piece of my body would be useless if God didn't build a powerful healing ability into my body. We as humans have learned to cooperate with the natural things God created within us to begin with. White blood cells, our lymphatic system, our abilities to form antibodies to fight foreign proteins and on and on we have built in protections that science uses to increase our ability to heal, but the originator of the system is God.

God also gives us the ability to heal emotionally. Our mind and spirit have the ability to remember and forget. We have the ability to forgive and the ability to love again. We also can set limits and hold others accountable with reasonable expectations. Life is full of circumstances by which we learn about the inbred ability to heal our spirit.

Even after all that built in human potential for healing, God does not leave us alone to deal with our healing. God gives us supernatural assistance in the arena of healing as well. I could describe the numerous ways that God has answered my prayers for healing in this time of my grieving the loss of my love Marsha. I could explain the way God was present in the time I discovered I had cancer and the way God was present as my body and spirit healed. I could list specific examples when I saw God instantly heal individuals of both physical and emotional injuries. I also know that healing here on earth is finite but the ultimate healing is to become completely healed and whole again at the end of our life. Marsha has experienced that complete healing.

God is spectacular and to miss it is sad. When we continue to try and dismiss the supernatural because we want to elevate the human, we ignore the most beautiful dimension of creation. We settle for something so insignificant in comparison to a complete appreciation for the tremendous human skills and the phenomenal supernatural resources God has placed within and around us. God you are awesome.

Viewpoint

Dana and Forrest have their arms around an original stand of new New England tree growth in the Gulf Hagus area in which we hiked the ravine. That means these trees predate our country. They have looked out upon this territory as history took place all around them. I have always wanted to sit in the Garden of Gesthemane because the olive trees that exist there today grow out of the same root system that was living there when Jesus met with his disciples there and when he prayed on the last night of his life. Olive trees thousands of years old right there outside Jerusalem where so much of religious history has taken place. Some things are timeless. I have always been impressed by old words. I've stood in the Lincoln Memorial and read the words inscribed in stone. Many of those words are timeless truths. They hold a value that will never end. Wisdom you see never gets old. Wisdom translates into all time. Wisdom would have resounded as true throughout the time of the tree my son is hugging, and will hold true today.

As the world spins with faster and faster advancements of technology, it is easy for the young to dismiss the wisdom of the past as obsolete or irrelevant. Experience however is a profound teacher. Today is grandparents day and I'm one of those. Perhaps today is a day that we can recognize that wisdom most often comes from experience, and that comes not from technology or wealth or social status, but from engaging in life. Grandparents have something to offer that all those things cannot give you today. Their wisdom cannot replace your own experience which can only come to you through your time spent, but they can give you access to truths that have been shared throughout time and do not change. That wisdom can help your time be more fruitful as you experience life. Scripture say that we are to seek wisdom above all things. Where do you find it? Todays the day.

Eagles Wings

One of my favorite old Christian songs is On Eagles Wings. One of my favorite teaching tapes was by Rev. Terry Fulham and was entitled Life On Wings. My constant recurring dream for many years has been of me soaring like an eagle high above the earth with my arms out wide just silently coasting through the sky. Swooping like an eagle to respond to life but returning to the effortless life of being born high above by the thermals. The picture today is of a bald eagle we saw on one of our wilderness trips this summer. It was not soaring but was close enough for a picture which is not usually the case with the type camera equipment I have. In the song Eagles Wings the line that always gets me, because it is my closest experience of God says,"bare you on the breath of God". Remember that in all three ancient languages of scripture the same word that is used for spirit is also the word for wind. For me soaring like an eagle is not me riding thermals, but rather riding the wind of the Holy Spirit. Finding that place in me where my body mind and spirit respond like an eagle in the sky to movement of the Holy Spirit and then just surrender myself in complete trust to where the spirit takes me. The eagle has goals but he has also learned to use the forces of nature with trust in what they will provide. The eagle does not go flapping about with some massive effort and expend energy all over the place to get from here to there, he just allows the air to move him. He really does just go with the flow. He has massive powerful wings and yet spends the vast bulk of time just holding them still and moving as the air takes him effortlessly along. My experience of God is like that at it's best. When I entrust myself to the spirit, life moves along with an effortless grace and I watch with amazement as God accomplishes spectacular things all around me. My own skills and abilities are almost in neutral as the reserves of the Holy Spirit are engaged and so much more effective than mine. I'm coasting, coasting, coasting on the wind of the spirit. Breathe on us breath of God, help us to trust anew the movement of your spirit. Let it carry us to new heights to accomplish your purpose.

Balance

I am crossing a whitewater river at a rapids above a steep high waterfall in the picture. Professionals have placed this log bridge across the gap for us to cross, but it still is a bit intimidating to cross. Lose your balance and your not sure if you couldn't be swept over the falls you hear roaring to the left. I have to say I am crazy enough that I turned around on the bridge so my son could get this picture. I was really crossing toward where my grandson is moving in the distance. Danger exists when we lose our balance.

Life requires balance and sometimes it is not an easy commodity to find at the market. We get pulled and tugged in one direction or another by forces all around us and like the currents in a river they can sweep you away to places you don't want to go. Marsha cautioned me about spending too much time alone after she passed away. She knew I am and internal person often quite content with my internal thoughts and explorations. She made me promise that I would keep myself involved with people and busy in the world, even encouraging me to find a new wife. I may not go that far, but I have been faithful to my promise to keep involved in the world and not be content to dwell in my isolated internal world. Even this blog is external for a person with my personality because it connects me to you and exposes me to the outside world which feels risky. How do I know when I'm in balance is the question? I know I need to grieve, how much of that needs alone time? Does busy facilitate or complicate that process? Am I busy doing the right things or merely filling time? What does balance look like in new situations? All of us go through changes and chances in life and they require adjustment. A well balanced teenager is not the same as a well balanced adult. We need to find new criteria for a balanced life as we move through the experiences of life. I know God is helping me but I need to be sure that I'm not blocking what he wants me to do by filling life with the wrong things. I think I'm on the right track and I continue to follow the path that I hope leads to a balanced senior citizen. One thing is for sure, the path is not as narrow as that bridge.

God's Providence

I have been a blessed man. I have seen God's hand in my life preparing a way for me on so many occasions. I don't always see God's provision at the moment, but it becomes clear in hindsight. Often at the moment God has opened a door or created an opportunity for me I am oblivious to his preparation. Today at church I preached on the scripture phrase, "God is at work in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure." God creates in me the desire for that which will please him and at the same time that which will bless me. After the terrible Worcester fire where six firefighters lost their lives I felt called to work as a fire chaplain. A fellow priest, Dan Harris, was involved and helped me to see the importance of this ministry. I enjoyed getting to know the firefighters and spending time with them. I visited some at the hospital and in their homes if they were sick or hurt. This seemed significant enough, but little did I know that it would give me the opportunity to go to ground zero as a chaplain following 9/11. The picture is of Marsha and I with the Whitman fire chief as he gave a book about 9/11. I could recount many examples of God preparing opportunities for my blessing when I could not possibly see the potential blessing for me. Pray and respond, pray and respond that is the pattern of life. God will prepare the way if you are open to step into it. You will see his hand at work in the good times and the bad. You will find his love for you and his provision in the small things and the great. Look back and see what God has done for you. Know that he has greater things in store for those who will allow "God to work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure."

Acting

Doesn't look like my granddaughter does it? In my daughter's family acting is a way of life. My daughter started when she was old enough to walk. She would always gather whoever she could and perform for them and wait for the applause. Of course she had no encouragement what so ever from anyone else. Both her children have performed in theatre and have been recognized for their performance, but neither of them has chosen on stage acting as their future. They both majored in the theatrical realm in one way or another because acting and theatre are at the heart of their lives. My daughter has taught drama at the middle school level for many years and is good at it. She has spoken to me about kids being able to try on their identity through acting in ways they couldn't do otherwise. It helps them discover who they really are. I have had some of her students and some of their parents tell me personally that they came out of their shell (found themselves) through my daughters drama opportunities. Even my wife Marsha was involved in theatre in high school and college, and anyone who knew her knows she had a dramatic side to her. Acting is a great thing.

I once listened to a Christian tape where the pastor had been brutally attacked by a guest preacher in his own church. He was so angry he sent his wife home after with the car as he had to walk it off. As he was fuming along his walk God said to him, "I've already forgiven him you must also." This created real turmoil but he knew it was from God so he thought I can't forgive him but I can act like I forgive him and know that I should really forgive him. He started doing that and every time the anger would rise he would repeat the process until it became the reality. He tried on what he knew God wanted from him. Forgiveness became an easier action with everyone else after that for him. I have stepped out in trust of God when I did not really trust him in my heart. I held fear and doubt and thought I was making a mistake but I knew I had to act like I trusted God. My confidence in God was built through many times of acting like I trusted God when inside I still had great doubts about God and myself. Like clothes at the Macy's, we can try things on and see if they fit. Many times I've seen people try on sizes they knew inside wouldn't fit. We can act like this Christian service or that Christian action is possibly going to fit even when we think it won't. We can always put it back. But if we don't try on what we think God wants of us we will never receive his fullest blessing. That blessing is only found in his will for our lives, his good and perfect will.

A Good Daddy

Everyone wants to have a good dad. Parents are so important in those early stages of life and a good dad can have an influence that lasts a lifetime. The picture today is of my son-in-law Rich reading to the girls. My grandkids have all had good dads. Not perfect but good dads. I don't think they need to spend a lot of energy in their lives overcoming damage done to them by negligent or abusive fathers. I have spent many hours talking to adults who suffered abuse of one kind or another and seen how difficult it can be to be healed of such issues. Even if a dad is near perfect however the perception by their child may not see it that way.

For a Christian the real perfect dad is God himself. We all have earthly father's who gave us physical life. We also all have a spiritual father who gives us spiritual life. This spiritual daddy will only work for our good. At times I'm not sure we believe that. By our actions we show that we don't trust God. We know what God wants us to do and yet we lack the trust to do it. We act as though daddy would abuse us like some of our earthly fathers. We act as though we need to take care of ourselves because God can't be trusted. We lose the peace that obedience to God can bring. Trust your spiritual father in this case father knows best.

With What Eye

The picture today is my granddaughter Bekah who last spring graduated from the Grady School of Journalism at The University of Georgia. She is part of my theatrical family. Sorry Rich it's your family even if you don't want to be theatrical. Bekah is looking at a scene she is bout to film in the picture to the right. You can see her mind calculating and assessing the scene. She sees differently than I do. We talk about movies sometimes and we can walk out of a movie with a completely different impression because she immediately analyzes every facet of the film while I just watch for entertainment and enlightenment. I have looked at her and said, "What movie did you go to?"

My son, as an educator of troubled young people, looks at his kids with a different set of eyes too. I listened to him this summer as we talked about school and he spoke of his focus on his strength, which is compassion. It was funny to some extent because my son was and is a tough kid. Not the type you would think looks at others with eyes of compassion. It is how he gets through his students external protective mechanisms, and reaches the heart of the matter. Another set of eyes that are not mine. Many people came through my office and I was helpful to many, and I'm not saying I didn't feel compassion, but I was not looking through eyes of compassion as my son described it.

My set of eyes when they are clear and focused looks at the world through God's eyes. They are listening eyes. Taking in the data from the surrounding world with a filter that asks God what he wants me to see. I am amazed how God shows me something different in people who outwardly look the same and have the apparent same situations. In my last parish through the soup kitchen I met and would talk to a variety of prostitutes who were part of the daily crowd. Not appearing any different to the outward eye and yet one God would show me to be a poor little girl trapped, while another who outwardly looked no different God would show me to be a hardened threat. God's grace of listening eyes led me and protected me. Listening eyes helped God accomplish his purpose and so often surprised me with his power that I could not miss his hand at work around me. I would be heading someplace which seemed important, and God would suddenly send me in a different direction, because he helped me see a situation that needed immediate action. So often I would show up somewhere not knowing why only to find out that it was exactly where God needed me. For my work listening eyes were invaluable, but I don't think just for my work.

I think we can all work on our eyesight. I could work at developing more of my son's compassionate eyes, because I think God wants us to have that kind of eyes. I could develop better eyes for seeing the beauty and drama around me that my granddaughter sees so well. You could probably come up with other kinds of vision that are gifts from God to be used for good.

If the eyes are the windows of the soul. What will people see in your eyes and what will your soul see through your eyes. With what eyes will you see. I once was blind but now I see. I wasn't blind but I couldn't see. Thank you God for healing my different kind of blindness.

Adaptation

The trees to the right are from Myrtle Beach State Park. The prevailing wind is from the ocean to the right so the trees form themselves to accommodate the constant bending by the wind. Every living creature lives in an environment where accommodation is part of survival. For us the issue is how and what are willing to adapt. You all know my life has gone through tremendous change in one year. I retired, I moved, and I lost my wife of 45 years all in seven months. Adaptation required!!! My life is not the same and will not be the same. No rule says it has to be worse, but it cannot be the same. Where am I willing to make adaptations to my new reality. Will they happen like the trees bending because of natural circumstances, or will I choose what adaptations make sense for me in some ordered thoughtful prayerful way. I think I am recognizing now a reality that has been active in my life always. I have always been adapting to my world. My life has adapted to Marsha, to new students, a new boss, a new church and many big and small environmental conditions. Often they have occurred without much thought or planning, they just happened for survival or to fit in. I'm not sure God wants us to adapt like those trees to the prevailing wind of the day. I think we have more responsibility than that. I think God has given us clear standards and instructions to help us adapt to our world, and just bending to the times does not necessarily meet God's requirements. Help us all Lord as life requires adjustment and amendment and adaptation, that we don't lose our way and walk away from you.

Find the Joy

I was so lucky to share a Christian life with someone who understood joy. I don't mean happiness which is momentary and transient, but joy, that inner knowledge of God's favor which controls your outlook no matter what the circumstances. In the picture Marsha was leading a Cursillo with her three spiritual directors. Her witness always shared the turmoil and pain of her early life that had been healed by God and which also showed that deep joy, that deep assurance of God's love that filled her soul. Nothing can shake that joy once we find it. We can allow ourselves to be carried along like a floating twig in a white water river, or we can anchor our lives on the rock where even a flood could not shake us. Life will always bring challenges. We live in human fragile bodies in a world clouded with self-centered human hearts. We will experience pain because of what life brings us or circumstances which effect those we love, but joy is possible no matter what. I know Marsha helped me to understand this reality and I think I helped her understand joy as well. I know now that when life creates difficulty, my fault or others, I look inside for the joy, the stability, that will settle me and help me see the future through God's eyes. Joy comes in the morning because in our conscious moments we can choose to look inward and find God's assurance. With practice this joy even makes it through the night. I've got that joy, joy, joy, joy,down in my heart, does not say smile on my face. I'll settle for God's joy anytime.

Education for Ministry

In the picture to the right I am graduating from Andover Newton Theological School. I had completed all the work needed for a Masters in Divinity. Part of my studies were completed part time because I had children in college and needed to keep teaching to help support us all. I learned a lot in seminary but I was sure glad I was a mature Christian entering the process. I watched young men and women enter seminary with some faith and a sense of calling but watched as the education stripped away their faith and confused their calling. By the time they were done many did not know what they were called to do. The church requires as much education as you would get to become a doctor or a lawyer in order to be set apart for a specific piece of the ministry of the church. Notice I said set apart not above. Our ministry as ordained individuals is meant only to equip and compliment the ministry of all believers, not to replace that ministry. The only ministry I had not done frequently before I was ordained was consecration of the elements for communion, and baptism (although I could have baptized). I had been in a situation where I not only was encouraged and equipped for ministry, I was challenged to be a minster. My education for ministry was for ordained ministry not for ministry. My education for ministry was in church communities like my present parish in Surfside. I know the world has become more complicated since the days of the Apostles, but can you imagine St. Peter being told he needs 90 credits of college work before he could be a minister. He learned to minister in a community that encouraged and challenged him to be a minister even against his apparent human weaknesses. He was then equipped by the Holy Spirit which has been given to all of us who believe. Are you willing to be mentored to find the ministry to which you are called? Remember, because you are baptized you are a minister. The only question is how well you are doing your ministry. Today, September 3, 2009 you have twenty four hours like everybody else. What you do with those hours is your ministry. At the end of the day you will either have done it well or poorly or somewhere in between, but you will have completed your ministry for the day. Don't let it happen by accident, invite the Holy Spirit to use your day. He has all the education you need.

Matching Dresses

I've written before about the way Marsha was a little obsessive compulsive. She would make an item of clothing in one color and if she liked it, every color had to follow. The picture to the right is not about that compulsion. Marsha was so proud of her family. In the picture Bekah and gramma are dressed alike. That was only one way of Marsha saying she's with me. We all stood in Marsha's spotlight. Sometimes the spotlight showed the glow of achievement and sometimes the stains on our life, but we all stood in Marsha's spotlight. Even when she wanted us to see the stains it was because she wanted everyone to see how wonderful her family was and didn't want people to disapprove of us. It was no surprise to me when she wanted young Dana to juggle, Merrie to sing, and she wanted me to do the whole celebration service. She always wanted people to notice her family. That all her grandchildren played a part in her service would have thrilled her. However, she couldn't save us from ourselves or from the bumps and bruises of the world. She would polish us up again and send us shiny once more into life, but she couldn't save us from troubles.

I think being part of God's family is like that. God wants to be with me like Marsha and Bekah in the picture, in fact God's presence is within us not beside us. God wants others to notice his family, all their gifts and talents and the wonderful things they do. He wants us to offer all our life's achievements at the service which celebrates his life. We don't have to perform them in church but he would love us to offer them in our hearts to him. He also shines us up and sends us back into life polished and beautiful without signs of our self induced scars or worldly bruises. Sometimes I can see God with his arm around me, like Marsha in the picture, holding me close and smiling not because I'm great but because I'm his. Thank you God for adopting me into your family. I love it here.

Back to the Beach

Today was my first day back to our beach. It wasn't a great sunny day but the air was warm and the breeze comfortable, and the thought of being in our place inviting. I didn't realize how much I had missed the feeling of being where we loved to go together and where she had desired me to spread her ashes. Our love of Myrtle Beach State Park makes the ocean even better, Being there now always feels like we are together. I always loved the ebb and flow of the ocean. Some of you know that I ebb and flow with it as I'm floating in the waves. It just feels like the rhythm of living. God smiles on me when I'm at the ocean and even more when I'm at our beach at our ocean. Now I'm really home.