Happy Days

Jess and I hiked to this pretty waterfall yesterday while Dana cooked us steaks on a grill. We listened to Dana's music in the car and talked of the adventure we were on the many other adventures of our lives. Some were of the happy days when our kids were small and the four of us were off to see the world. Many of the memories bring smiles because they were happy days, even when some of the adventures turned to misadventures. I can think of hiking to the top of White Face just south of Conway with Merrie when she was about 8 years old. Marsha and Dana made it about 80% of the way before the 3 year old Dana had enough. Yesterday we spoke of our swimming in the swollen Kankamangus waterfall after a five day hurricane torrential rainfall. We made Dana watch as long as we could because he was wearing lederhosen that his sister had brought back from Europe for him and we knew they would be ruined. We gave up and in the falls he went with me. This summer brings up those family memories as we explore the great outdoors here in Maine. It does bring back the adventurous side of Marsha that people didn't often see in the later years. The memories just add to the complete picture of the one I loved. Grief is a complicated endeavor but I find the more I remember and recognize the great gift I had for so many years, the more I find the ability to face my new reality. I find me also as I remember us. I see the strength in Marsha, but also the strength in me. I find what we were able to do together but also the things that she would want me to continue to do alone.

We have had some laughs these days, particularly as we try to spot the elusive mythical moose of Maine. Yesterday was another journey to another area where everyone says you cannot help but see a moose. Guess what, all you have to do is be with me and it is entirely likely you will not see a moose. I think Dana may have given up this time.