Not staying in the old rectory to the right but I am back in Massachusetts and it feels good to see so many friendly faces. I didn’t know how I would feel after really knowing Myrtle Beach is home. This place is no longer home but the people make me feel at home. Hugs all around from people who know and love me. The streets are familiar and the air fits my memory bank. So much is a natural response like when I could shoot foul shots by muscle memory. I lived here so long and it feels like second nature to be here and yet I don’t feel like this is my home any longer. This is a strange combination of feelings. One of the things that is difficult is seeing the pain in every set of eyes as they see me and don’t know what to say. I received tremendous support during Marsha’s illness and ultimate death from the new friends in Myrtle Beach but because they did not know Marsha or I the same way I didn’t find the pain in their eyes the same way. It is wonderful to have so many connections with people but so difficult when seeing me brings both joy and pain. I guess hermits don’t have to deal with this but they miss so much. Connection means sharing the good the bad and the ugly. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
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