Toil

Luke 5:4-8  Jesus said to Simon, “Put out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch.” And Simon answered, “Master, we toiled all night and took nothing! But at your word I will let down the nets.” And when they had done this, they enclosed a great shoal of fish; and as their nets were breaking, they beckoned to their partners in the other boat to come and help them. And they came and filled both the boats, so that they began to sink. But when Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus’ knees, saying, “Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord.” 


Marsha and I toiled many times in our lives. When we got married we had nothing to speak of, and depended on our parents for awhile. We decided Marsha was going to finish college, even pregnant, and even if we didn't have the money. I worked 60 or more hours a week and some of that time it was split shift opening in the morning and closing at night.  I could go through years of our toil on our own to make it. We had dreams and plans and we worked hard to achieve them, I would say we were both strong people with a good work ethic, and we reached most of our goals. House, children, jobs, vacations, and yet we continued to toil. The toil was that although all of those things were good and wonderful, they didn't add up to anything. 


Learning to listen to Jesus and obey was really what diminished our toil. It was not instantaneous this learning to listen. For my part I would let God into some areas of my life and not others. I would hear his voice in places of ministry, but for some time excluded him from my relationship with Marsha. Gradually his voice infiltrated all the areas of life and for the most part toil was over. We still faced hard choices and hard work. Life isn't without difficulties. We found and I continue to find that life is not toil when we've really learned to hear and obey. Hard sometimes, yes. Tiring sometimes, yes. But toil, for me no. 


Some of you know about my exhausting experience in the absolute wilderness of Maine trying to change a tire this summer. I wasn't sure my body could do what needed to be done, or that my brain was capable of figuring out what needed to be done. I was being eaten alive by deer flies and they drive me crazy. I wasn't sure I would ever get out of the woods that day, but inside in my spirit was a serene pool of calm assurance. Even then it  was not what I call toil because God was with me and reassuring me. I do like to recount the story though. He let me know he was helping that day. Did you ever see a jack lift a car higher when slanted sideways? I did and I couldn't believe it. I swear it was beyond 45 degrees slant.


For me life on my own is toil. I'm not saying it is bad or uneventful or always unhappy without this connection with God. I didn't know that life would be so much better until I had the experience of his grace. I thought my life was just what life was meant to be. Like Simon when I experienced that absolute power of his grace I knew I was a sinful man, and unworthy of all his love, and yet I knew and continue to know the grace that takes away toil with overwhelming grace. I'm so happy that after working so hard and not getting the real catch, I learned to cast my net on the right side.