Stone Thrower

John 10:31-33  The Jews took up stones again to stone him. Jesus answered them, “I have shown you many good works from the Father; for which of these do you stone me?” The Jews answered him, “It is not for a good work that we stone you but for blasphemy; because you, being a man, make yourself God.”


The people who picked up the stones to kill Jesus were convinced that Jesus was claiming to be God. By his acts like forgiving sins not done to him but to someone else, or his talking about the works he has done as coming from his Father. I guess I would have been a stone thrower myself. How could I believe a man who claimed to be Son of God. I liked him well enough and all that but to make himself God that was a huge overstep in my mind. I spent years wrestling with Jesus identity because I liked the guy. Did you ever just love a character in a book or movie with this strange attraction. The Matt Damon character Will in Good Will Hunting is one of mine. He is this intelligent non achieving drinking rebel and I that was me. Other characters we pick are not what we are but what we want to be. Jesus was one of those for me, but then he couldn't be God, I couldn't be God so he couldn't either.
C. S. Lewis put it clearly that either Jesus was a liar claiming to be the God when he was not. or he was a lunatic thinking he was God when he was not, or he was who he said he was and indeed was God. He couldn't just be the nice guy I wanted him to be. I came to that place before I ever read Lewis, and I wrestled with that for a very long time. I eventually knew he was God and that changed everything, I intentionally said knew not believed in that sentence, because we think many things that we don't know in the sense on an intimate overwhelming reality like I knew I loved Marsha. It was not an intellectual choice after analysis of some choices, or taking up a time honored philosophical position, but rather a knowledge in the bones like the knowledge of a deep and permanent love. Knowing him changed everything indeed. That knowledge became the fulcrum that lifted the weight of the world off of me, and continues to fill my being with unbelievable treasures. Maybe in those old days I could have been a stone thrower, but I had to drop my stone.