Certainty & Uncertainty

 I have some things of which I am certain. One is that God is as real as any material object I can touch or hold. Another is that God loves me and you and had a plan and purpose which seeks a personal relationship with each of us. A third is that this relationship will not end when my body dies. At the same time I am a scientist, and I'm certain that objects obey gravity. I picked the picture of the waterfall as an example of that certainty. So many material realities are just as certain to me as the spiritual ones. I think some people wonder how I can understand so much about the biological and physical material world and still believe in the spiritual realities that give meaning to my life. I don't find any conflict in the reality of both.

My uncertainty rests in the realm of trying to figure out humanity. I have tried to help many people through the years that have suffered from the cruelty caused by another human being. I have even been the cause of others being hurt from time to time. I can't say I planned to hurt anyone but I did. The uncertainty comes from the way we judge one another, hate one another and indeed mistreat one another.
The height of nature is humanity, and yet from those who pretend to be superior and oh so smart on the atheist side, to the hateful judgmental portion of the spiritual side,I'm not sure God is clear about any of us.  Perhaps only the rest of creation can really be trusted.
Once again I have spent my life trying to understand people and at times I just want to give up. I can't give up. but sometimes I just would like to give up. I think that might be how God feels about you and me. 

Let The Thunder Roll

This is one of the rare days I've had here in Myrtle beach when the rain and thunderstorms actually stopped me from being active outdoors. I've had some pieces of a day that kept me indoors, but not this constant threat of lightning. It has been OK though as I have been working on phase two of organizing the house, and phase one of preparing for our staff away day tomorrow at my house. It is also phase one of preparing for my small group meetings which begins to meet here on Thursday. It feels good to re-enter my church life and the relationships it provides. I love thinking about and talking about my Lord and this church provides so many opportunities for that to happen. I find it so wonderful when what I desire from God and what God desires from me meet and travel along the same path. That's when life feels like I feel when floating peacefully in my ocean, just a calm focused meaningful peace.

Church Service

Today at church we held the first annual God is Good Service. I mean we all know God is good, but this service, which was part of the ending service of the Camp Dennen summer season back in Massachusetts, is a special way of sharing our individual experiences of God's blessing. At camp we always made sure that the chapel was filled with boxes of tissues and they were needed today too. I just loved the number of kids that got up to share and that they were very articulate and had really meaningful things to say. It shows both the acceptance of our young people that God desires, and the depth of their spiritual journeys. For many adults this must have been a real eye opener. Every year at camp I was blessed by hearing the experiences of those I had known all summer. Sometimes we don't realize how much God is doing in the lives of people all around us. I'm thankful to have been part of today. I brought a special rare geode with water trapped inside and a bubble floating in it. I described how during this past year plus. since Marsha died, I have felt God's support and strength like the rock in the geode, while the fluid is like the grace and love surrounding me through all my family, friends and church. I have been like the bubble floating in a pool of grace, mercy and comfort as I have grieved the loss of my wife. It has made my experience of grief easier than I could have imagined. God is good.

God's Work In My Life

I have been thinking for some time now what I should bring to the service at church this week. We are instructed to pick an item which expresses what God has done in our lives during the past year, and bring it to church. We will have the opportunity to explain our choice if we so desire. I have thought and thought about the question not because I couldn't find an answer but because I found too many answers. I sometimes think I am blessed with God vision. No matter what happens I seem to step back and look for God's hand in what is going on. In almost every situation, both the good ones and the bad, I can usually see what God was doing. Often I can't find it right away, I need to watch it evolve through time to see that God was present. I'm not saying that God creates the situations, often we are very adept at that ourselves, but rather that God does not abandon us even in our self created misery. The item I picked for tomorrow is the geode on the table. A young man from Hong Kong gave me this unique geode when I helped him come to this country for school. His grandmother is very dear to me and was to Marsha. This geode has a bubble inside floating in trapped water. I think it a very appropriate for the most important way God has been working in my life. Perhaps after I tell the church I might even tell you.

I'm Home

I arrived in Myrtle Beach at 8:30 AM Wednesday morning. I am home. I spent great time with family who I miss most of the year. I loved seeing so many friends, and reconnecting with some of them for the first time in years, but this is my home. Part of it is my comfort in my own space and part of it is my friends next door. Part of it is the church and church family and part of it the routine I have here, but most of it is that I am surrounded by a world of memories in the things in my home. I know I have had a good life and it might seem sad that I see it in the small possessions that surround me, but I do see it there. A hand made cross here, a candle there, a bunny here, a figurine there, they add up to a lifetime of friends, companions and life events. None of it is valuable in a worldly sense, but all of it is valuable in a personal sense. I think one of our main tasks in life is the discovery of who we are, to have a clear identity. I watch Criminal Minds and it may be bogus but I watch as they walk through a house and gather vital information from what they see. It might be too simple but at the same time I think it has some reality. Our identity is found in our possessions. I spent a good part of today on my beach where I released Marsha's ashes. A new part of my identity is found in that new reality. That beach is another part of home and another step in my life journey of discovering with God who I am and why I'm here.

Last Days

I love to visit friends and family, and they always support my doing my things. I've had plenty of time to play golf and wander as I wished this summer. I come up here to spend time with my son and his children and have had many opportunities to do that over the past month. What has been new and different is getting to spend a significant amount of time with Jess, the love of my son's life. Last summer we spent time together but it was very limited and the opportunities for the kinds of conversations where you get to really know a person were few. This month I had some of those great opportunities to get to know her. I've had the chance to get to know her values and character. She cares deeply about others and shows it by her choices. She has a keen intellect and takes the challenge as a teacher to really grow the minds and character of her students. She is a terrific mom with a remarkable son. She makes my son happy. We have talked about many things this summer and I value all those moments. We even spent some hours sharing thoughts about theology. In many ways this has been like other summers, a time to reconnect with the Maine part of my family, but it has given me the chance to come to love the one my son loves. and that means a lot to me. Thanks Jess for your part in the gift of this summer.