Tests and More Tests

Marsha passed lots of tests in her life even the hopeful results of the medical test that started the journey toward diagnosis. The next day remember we had agreed to a bronchoscopy. I went to the hospital and stayed with Marsha until they came to take her for the test. They told me it would be at least three hours, so off I went to get some fresh air. I discovered a golf driving range a very short distance away from the hospital and it became my release from frustration for the duration of Marsha's hospital stay. Feeling anxious, whack. Feeling frustrated, whack. Each emotion took its turn as I put it on the tee and whack. I worked out my aggression on those poor golf balls and I must admit it helped. I went back to the hospital after lunch, some golf balls and some beach. Marsha came through the test just fine. It was took some time to get to talk to the doctor. He explained that all the major lung passageways that he was able to reach were clear. He had forced fluid down into the inaccessible areas of the lung that had been suspicious in the x-rays and suctioned the fluid back out for testing but no cancer cells were found. It was clear this was confusing to him. He fully expected to be able to diagnose cancer from this test but his results were negative. The ups and downs of the journey were to continue. Very clear what they expected to find, whoops down we go, can't find it whoops up we go. Meanwhile Marsha is not getting better. Her breathing is still difficult and the cough is still persistent. Patience was needed and patience I've got. Good thing!!

Multiple Abnormalities

On Marsha's first full day in the hospital the rollercoaster was in full swing. The lung doctor told us that they had not found any cancer cells in the fluid they had removed from her chest cavity the previous day, but we also found out that the X-rays had shown multiple abnormalities in both lungs. Up down all around the emotional swings moved with greater speed and less control. He suggested that they perform a bronchoscopy to check out the abnormalities and we agreed to the test for the following day. Her breathing was better and we felt like improvement was at hand so the confusion of mixed signals was everywhere in the air. Company came and went from our friends and from the church and the nurses were great. I must say Marsha was a good patient as well. Cooperation was the order of the day for her. From that very day until the end Marsha was clear, she knew where she was going eventually and if that was the result she was ready. Death did not hold fear over her head. She had not given up on the possibility of medicine or God's intervention changing the direction of things, but she was not flustered by any eventuality. She insisted that my life not come to a stop, especially she said she would not tolerate any spiritual slacker. She was so funny. Not all days remain as clear as these first few, but all of them contained important revelations about God, ourselves, and others.

Hospitals

One year ago today I took my Marsha to The Grand Strand Regional Medical Center emergency room. As usual the process was long before anyone saw her. She was coughing and having trouble breathing. The doctors sent her for X-rays and diagnosed fluid between her left lung and the outer chest wall under her left arm. The solution was to extract the fluid with a needle which would expand the lung and remove the pressure that stopped the lung from taking in air. When asked about the possible causes a list was given. A physical bruise, an infection, and other causes were mentioned and cancer on the end of the list. It is always a shock to hear the unexpected, but that item just leaped out at us. The removal of the fluid was a success. Immediately Marsha could catch her breath, but they admitted her and thus began the efforts to diagnose the cause. I have to admit that I was worried from the beginning. I do very well with things being wrong with me, but I have trouble with anything being wrong with my family. It takes prayer for me to settle again when the difficulty is with a family member. I left for dinner and returned that night to see her and our friends were there as well. I had been away on many retreats and Marsha had been away overnight many times as well, but that night I felt alone going to bed in an unusual way. It was the first of what has been the constant in my life. I must have known in my heart something was really wrong even then. My emotional rollercoaster began that day. Moment by moment, day by day I went up and down with the events as they unfolded. Unlike the rollercoaster it did not start with the biggest hill, but the ride had indeed begun.

Which Way Is Up

Ever hit those places in life where you question what's going on or what's gonna go on next. I always liked the phrase I don't know which way is up. At those times it just seems like confusion gathers and even the simplest things get filled with the same state of confusion. All the certainty that exists drifts away like the foam after the wave crashes. I've been thinking about last year. On January 29th, one year tomorrow, Marsha went to the hospital with what we thought was pneumonia and from the start one of the list of possibilities mentioned was cancer. Marsha and I heard it and we talked about it. That was a time of confusion like what I'm writing about today. For the next weeks and months I was carried along in this state of confusion where I didn't know which way was up. At the very same time that my mind was in this flood of confusion, my heart was never more certain of the graces of God. Funny isn't it? As I begin this journey again in my memory tomorrow I will cherish the unbelievable rock of faith that was Marsha. I will celebrate the great power of God in me through the Holy Spirit that carried me and strengthened me. During those days I was in one sense adrift in a current beyond my control that seemed to take away all balance, and yet peculiarly as the secular got swept along and swept away, the spiritual was anchored safely in the harbor, protected from the storm. God's peace was there even when I didn't know which way was up.

Feathers & Flight

I was walking the beach yesterday and the shore seemed to be littered with a number of feathers. Clearly they were not from one bird as they varied in size and color and structure, The previous night had been a stormy windy night so perhaps birds shed feathers in bad wind. I have always been fascinated with flight. The feather, which is so light and fragile, would seem to lack enough strength to accomplish flight. I have watched eagles and peregrine falcons carrying prey that looks heavier than the bird. I sit and watch the birds at my window and see the variety of sizes and shapes. It is that ability to fly that really fascinates me. Moving air holding them up, something even lighter than they are is holding them up. So many mysterious realities in nature. So many things that seem impossible to the initial impression.

It seems to be the same in the spiritual realm. I have soared on the wings of the dove. I wish it was the unaided flight like I dream of so frequently. I can picture myself just soaring on the breeze high in the air but I know when I wake that it is not real and not possible. I do know it is real when I am carried by the wind of the spirit and things happen that I can neither accomplish nor explain. I love the beginning and the end of Forrest Gump. The small white feather drifting and moving in the wind with that effective tune playing. The feather moving first one way then another not knowing what will happen next, is the way I feel sometimes when the Spirit is leading me. Life seems effortless and unpredictable at the same time, while it feels so beautiful also. In those moments, as heavy as I am, I feel like a feather, and as logical and intelligent as is my nature, I find great joy in those experiences of the mysterious. Come Holy Spirit, no feathers but flight awaits me anyway.

Testing

How do you know what you should do in confusing or frustrating circumstances? In some situations it seems easy to use reason and intelligence to solve a dilemma, but at other times nothing seems to make sense. How do you test your thinking? What if you make a wrong choice or start down a wrong path? How will you know? I'm back in this situation again myself. I have been questioning what God wants me to do now. Retirement with Marsha was a shared goal and we were working out a common path and finding expressions of God's purpose for both of us in our life here. Without Marsha my arenas really are limitless. Nothing holds me to this place permanently. If God needs me elsewhere I'm available, but in this circumstance like so many others testing is required. It probably seemed to some like I have made sudden and impulsive choices in my life. On the inside of some of those same situations I can say the progress was agonizingly slow. For Marsha and I big moves were made with baby steps, although when we were clear that God was showing the way we responded quickly. For example we put a binder on property in Myrtle Beach at the end of a five day stay. Some would say impulsive. They couldn't see the trips we made to various locations praying about where we might retire. The couldn't see the hours on the internet looking at locations we did not visit. All they see is the sudden choice of Myrtle Beach. When we made that choice it was with absolute certainty that it was God's choice and that has been affirmed again and again. For me scripture, prayer and close valued Christians are vital to those decisions, and making small steps and feeling God's response to intermediate steps. My problem is Marsha and I were the valued Christian counsel for each other and now she is gone. Part of my testing mechanism is missing. Test I must, but the progress will be along a slightly altered path. How do you know God's plan for you? How do you test his purpose? Test we must you know because his plan and purpose is where we find our true life.

I Love Football But!!!

I don't have a football picture in my album. I do love football and I watch games even when they are not my favorite team. As we started the playoffs this year I had my favorite team in the picture but this was not my year. In the first round of the playoffs all four of the teams I would want to win lost. Bad start for sure. My own team out. The next week I was one for four. Only the Vikings were the team I wanted to win. This week I lost the first one and am in real danger of losing the second. That is the way it goes sometimes. Things are not within my control. Now when it comes to football I wish it was, but when it comes to life I try very hard to leave things in God's control.

I'm not saying I don't spend some time second guessing God, but I really am glad that God's in control and not me. More times I have seen God's hand preparing people for his plan. More times I have looked at what happened at the end of a situation and found God's presence at work throughout. That doesn't even include those unmistakeable moments when God has led Guided enabled or done on His own miracles right in front of my eyes. Thank you God for not giving me too much control. Thank you God for who you are.

Wow the officials have simply ruined this second game with terrible calls.

The Saints win when they shouldn't. What a bad officiating nightmare.

I Said Fun

I think many of you have guessed that for me a day of golf is fun. I said in my status on facebook that I was going to have a fun day with God around every corner. Indeed that proved to be true. I play with a variety of combinations of people at my golf course, none of whom are friends off the golf course. The group I played today with was absolutely the most fun. Just three other guys who are class acts and make you feel completely comfortable to be with them. It makes the day just relaxed and enjoyable if you play well or not. Everyone is pulling for all the others to do well and being true gentlemen in their attitudes and character. It is days like this that give me real hope that maybe just maybe we can learn to treat each other the way that would make God smile. It is not just on the golf course or just with this group of guys that I have seen this minor miracle of true Godly humanity. I have seen the same in many quarters at one time or another, and yet I'm still both surprised and impressed when I find it with new people in new arenas of my life. Yes I did have fun, and not because of my not so great golf.

Mike's Brother

One of the guys I play golf with when I walk in the afternoon is named Mike. He was a postal employee in Indiana before he retired to Myrtle Beach. I hadn't seen him a quite awhile. I had heard that his brother was living with he and his wife and was very sick. When I saw Mike today and asked about his brother he told me he had passed away three weeks ago. His brother had been diagnosed with cancer just about the same time a year ago as Marsha and had lived with horrible pain and suffering ever since. Of course I expressed my sympathy, but inside I was giving thanks for both myself and Marsha that she had not lasted this long and suffered all that time. Sometimes it is hard to think that I was grateful that Marsha passed quickly and with very little discomfort. I really still do want her with me. Times like today remind me that this feeling of gratitude is not selfish as if I didn't want to go through more time caring for her. The reality is she is perfect with our heavenly father and her passing was merciful. I would have done anything she needed as long as she needed it, but I was spared and so was she. I felt sad as I looked in Mike's eyes because he wasn't spared the pain of his brother's suffering. I would miss Marsha the same either way, and I do.

Sanctification

Today in Bible study we were asked by one member if we were filled with the Holy Spirit. We had a variety of answers among the group. Some confidently said yes, while some were silent I think feeling uncomfortable answering. I said that I'm filling with the Holy Spirit. I live with the knowledge that I'm imperfect, don't laugh, I know you know that too. I continue to work at emptying the parts of me that are obstacles to God, because the Holy Spirit can't fill me there. I've made progress as I look back, but I know I'm not a finished product. God promises to complete the good work he has begun in me, but at least for me it has never been instantaneous. The conversation turned to the ways we rebel against God's plan, with some making the same easy judgements that are commonly made. I brought up the areas that I wrestle with as part of the mainstream in our culture and the biblical reasons I struggle with some of my own choices. One thing I know from my experience is that even though I haven't changed everything as a result of my wrestling with God's word, I'm am moving closer to God because I do struggle with it daily. That's why I think I'm filling not filled and that is being sanctified by the Holy Spirit as I see it.

Spring Is In The Air

We're approaching the end of January and yet around here I here people talking about spring being in the air. It just seems so peculiar as this still feels in my sense of time like it is the middle of winter. The days are nicely in the sixties and although we just passed through abnormally cold winter temperatures that mood swing that begins to come with March up home does seem to spring to life now here in MB. My first winter here was last year and I must admit that Marsha got sick in January and passed away near the end of March so this coming time of the year was really out of focus. The weather was the last thing on my mind last year. I do remember spending time at the beach with my daughter shortly after Marsha died. It was warm and beautiful and sunburn was the order of the day. Next week marks one year since Marsha went in the hospital with what turned out to be cancer. For her last spring was definitely the season of new life. Signs of spring are only a weak prelude of the new life that springs forth when this life fades away. I'll enjoy this surprisingly early season of the warmth that will bring forth green and flowers and life all around me, but I will be celebrating the new life God gave my love even more.

A Butterfly

I know the picture is a dragonfly but I didn't have a picture of a butterfly in my iphoto files. Today I was playing golf with some friends and a new guy I hadn't met before. He works at the real White House. I was sharing some about Marsha when out of nowhere comes a butterfly fluttering along. It was like a sign to me it was so unexpected. I know this is Myrtle Beach but this is still January and it has been very cold. What in the world is a butterfly doing flying around in January on almost the first day that it has not gone below freezing at least in the morning. I certainly know that the butterfly was not Marsha, but it was such a coincidence that it was a little weird to say the least. The heart and the mind seem to work together to pick up stuff that poke the stuff in the void. I don't mean void in the sense that nothing is there, but void in the awareness that something is missing, but not missing at the same time. The saying there is an elephant in the living room kind of fits the picture. The effect is obvious but the cause seems invisible. So much happens that I can trace to the experience of Marsha, while I know the reality of the void. I keep praying for this to happen so I keep going through the grief, but often I'm still amazed at how it happens.

Living & Watching

One of the great joys of life is living long enough to appreciate your children. This weekend I was once again in Atlanta for the theatre competition. Marsha and I attended last year for the first time and were so proud of the many parents and students that appreciated our daughter and her work. The students clearly trusted and respected her as a person and as a professional. I love to watch the way she interacts with her students and their parents. They also do such astounding work in their performances. Last summer I was in Maine for the summer. The first part of the summer my son was teaching summer school. During the normal school year he teaches students with behavioral issues, but for summer school he teaches special needs kids with learning issues. many are fearful and insecure especially around adults. I watched his special water slide day as he set up tarps on a slope at the school and had the kids sliding down the hill on the wet tarps. Some of the students were afraid and only would go down the slide with my son holding their hand and sliding beside them, or sitting between his legs as they went down the first time. I was so proud of the way the kids looked up to him and had confidence in him. What more could I want than to have my family committed to being people who make a difference in the life of others.

Augusta National

Today I was making a trip from Myrtle Beach to Watkinsville Ga. I've made this trip before both to my grandadults home and also going to my daughters. Today I had time so I thought I would jump off and ride by Augusta National the home of the Masters golf tournament. The picture is not Augusta. I could not get a picture of Augusta. The place is surrounded by twenty foot high hedges so you can't even see a fairway. At least Pebble Beach and some other noteworthy golf courses are visible to the world but the members only private privileged nature of Augusta is overwhelmingly clear as you just try to drive by. During the same week that I have been hooked with watching and praying for the victims of devastation in Haiti, it just really turned me off. I know we have a huge gap between the haves and the have nots in this world but at times it really does make me angry. A priest friend of mine wrote a song that basically said that if all of God's people who had enough shared with God's people who didn't have enough then all God's people would have enough! Enough!! Enough! Enough! Amen!!

Poverty

The picture contains a young girl living in one of the Food for the Poor housing complexes. The house in the background is one of the basic houses about sixteen feet by twelve feet but they are strongly built and very desirable compared to what other people live in. We would call it camping at best and most Americans would not even stay overnight in what the poor would call luxury. We are so out of touch with reality that we think we have no answers for the poor in our own country or the world. If the average American gave up one dollar a day to a specific proven program to meet the needs of the poor it would more than double the income of all the impoverished people of the whole Caribbean and Central American area. For some it might be the huge sacrifice of two doublemocha frapachinos at Starbucks or something each week. We see the need in a crisis like this in Haiti and then we forget that poverty doesn't end with the crisis. We want what we want when we want it and sacrifice is not part of our name. We brag about the total amount of aid we give away as a country which is the most of any nation while we dismiss the fact that we give the lowest percentage of our gross national product of any western industrialized nation. The only thing I know is that Christ had an overwhelming priority for the poor and we better not dismiss that reality in our lives.

Sorry!!!

Lots of preparing this week for church leadership events. Preparing materials, preparing food and preparing my mind for what is ahead while participating in a lot of meetings this week as well.

Love what I'm doing but time is limited if I'm going to have some measure of a retired life mixed in. Blog had to go for today. Catch you tomorrow if it rises to a higher level of priority.

Disappointment

You remember my quest of last summer to seek a sighting of the fictitious Maine moose. Everyone said that it was impossible to go where we went the number of times we went at the times we went without seeing a moose. Well with great disappointment and some good natured humor I never have seen a moose. Part of life is just the up and downs of living. Elation here depression there, success here and disappointment there. It also is true that at times our disappointments are the opposite for others. Today my New England Patriots played a poor game. They lost the game in the trenches in the first quarter. Well My disappointment is a gift for my friend Chip. he's from Indiana and we just beat his Colts so many times that he hates my poor team. I've been lucky enough that disappointment has been limited to inconsequential events like the ones mentioned. I felt grief and sorrow over Marsha's death but I could not be disappointed at the grace and faith and peace that were present in Marsha during her final days. You see for me like Marsha the only truly significant disappointment would be my being a disappointment to my Lord. It would be my wasting the love and grace Christ so richly pours out on me. I guess with great reluctance I can withstand the disappointment of my Patriot's loss. It will be tough but I think you can cancel the suicide watch, I'll be all right.

Priorities

Today at the Church of the Resurrection we had a convocation of all the churches in the Georgetown deanery. We started with coffee and breakfast foods before we began in the church. Next our contemporary music leaders led worship songs and after prayer Bishop Lawrence spoke. His message was excellent but the most amazing part was that he was there at all. His daughter was getting married in Charleston this afternoon, but he felt this event was so important that he came all the way up from Charleston and headed back immediately after his address to us. He will be there for the wedding but made the day more complicated, of course with his wife's permission, because he saw this as vital to the work of the church and an example for other deaneries in his diocese. The program that followed looked at the ways the church looks out upon the world. First the nearby world especially the young adult crowd often missing from our churches. The speaker was excellent and spoke with clarity and passion about the method and practice of drawing young people to Christianity. Not to invite them to our church but to engage them in Christianity perhaps before ever attending church. The other main presentation was by a man who with his wife had spent sixteen years as missionaries in Muslim Turkey. He was raising the vision of the need to bring faith in Christ to a world that has never had the chance to know him. Priorities involve putting first things first. Majoring in the majors and minoring in the minors is one way I have heard it said. We live in an I world trying to understand a you God. Our priority needs to be God's priority, our focus God's focus and that is not the church. The bishop was clear that bishops love the church, priests love the church, vestries love their church buildings and programs, but God loves people. We need to put people first as God does. Let that continue to grow as my priority.

Seasons

My daughter like myself just loves the beach. She likes the beach and I like the water and the beach. Here in MB that is an attractive option many months of the year. One of my southern friends said the other day that they began to swim Easter weekend even when it is in March. I can swim earlier than that and well into November. I do love some seasonal change however. It has been cool the last couple of weeks, but I remember playing golf at near forty degrees in Maine last August and that is what this winter cool is. It is not really cold. Seasons of life are much like that. Life changes for all of us. Sometimes it feels like heaven sometimes more like hell. Some days seem like a season in the sun and the next thing you know it feels like a blizzard. Some of the seasons of life however are a matter of perception. What one person considers a challenge could be a picnic to someone else. I can remember thinking how bad my life was at times only to get a real glimpse at someone else life that was so much worse than mine, and I can remember feeling like such a baby. I like the idea that we would not appreciate the blessings if we did not face some problems. Joy would not be memorable if it were not for sorrow. There is a season for every purpose under heaven to me means that God helps us grow through the experiences of our seasons of life. Changes requires our best to adapt and adjust to life. Boredom comes from the same old life day in and day out, and causes life to stagnate like a smelly swamp. Even the worst seasons of life are better than that.

Hurting Friends

I know it's not limited to people my age, but I find it hard to see friends who are are suffering or dealing with serious medical problems. I find it even harder to know that friends are going through difficulties than to go through the same things myself. My own cancer was of less concern to me than things that have happened to people I love. After dealing with what happened to my Marsha it seems to have become a small plague in the arena of my friends. One of the benefits of life as a hermit is that you don't have to struggle with things that happen to or because of others. However, I keep going back to the Robin Williams character in 'Good Will Hunting '. Speaking of the illness and death of his wife he says he never regretted a minute of the time with her. I would say the same. If I had the choice of my relationship with Marsha and then the pain or no relationship with Marsha and no pain I wouldn't hesitate to pick Marsha all over again. The same with my friendships. My friends have given me so much joy and so many memories and helped me to grow so much as a person. How could I ever give all that up to avoid some difficulty or sadness at seeing bad things happen to people I love. Pray and stay is the only way. I am blessed with so many people who care about me and so many people that I care about. I also have no regrets that some of it is difficult and challenging.

Journal Entry

I've never read Marsha's journals, but I was looking for a notebook for a meeting and came across one. I've read a few pages and thought I would share a days writing with you.

Good Morning God

You are awesome special unique universal all. You love each of us and all of us. You love completely. You create beauty and provide hope. You heal. You take what is broken and make it whole. Thank you! You in me! All your resources and power in me. Power to forget the past. Power to live a new day. Power to help others. "Know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you will be filled with all the fullness of God." Eph 3:19 Know more than I can learn from the inside out and the outside in. Know because you are inside and outside. Know because you will act through me if I invite you. Please work through me. What is important occurs now. Not yesterday, not tomorrow, now. Now is when you move in the world. Now is when I can give you power in my life. Now is when I can love you and others. Now!! In the pleasant.

Marsha always thought that life with God was not living in the present, but rather in the pleasant. I love her and miss her, but I really loved her spirit and I miss that most. You can hear it in her words but you can't feel it the same way I did.

Just Another Day At The Beach

Yesterday was mid-day beach time. Today was sunrise at the beach. Does it look like the girls are warm and cozy? It was 26 this morning in Myrtle Beach. I looked at Troy Maine weather on my National website and it was 34 in Troy Maine while I was on the beach in 26 degree weather. watching the sun come up. What a grandfather will do for his grandadults is nothing short of amazing. I was just thinking about what I would have said if it was Marsha asking me to witness the sunrise on the beach at 26 degrees. I'm not saying I love my grandadults more than I loved Marsha, but there is something pure an innocent and extreme about my love for my grandadults. It was a beautiful sunrise though. I think that kind of love could be closest to the extremes that God has gone because of love for me. It could be closest to the extremes that God wants me to go for love of lots of people he puts in my life. I can be so careful about what I will do or not do with people sometimes. I can be protective of my time or protective of my treasure, or perhaps protecting against getting hurt or rejected. Extreme love is different than love with those limits. We recognize that kind of love when we see it and we know it when we experience it. Let's hope we can begin to love it when we share it.

Cold Is Relative

Last night the grandadult crew set the agenda for today when I got home from church. Laura's boyfriend Chris had never seen the ocean so it was going to be beach day. I knew the prediction was 24 in the morning and staying rather chilly especially for here. I figured a walk on the beach even when cold is not bad, i fact I do it quite frequently. I did not think a long beach visit or swimming was in the picture but when I got home I came to see that some of the crew intended on swimming. You can with me and the pelican that I'm layered in clothes and staying warm. I wasn't sure if this pelican was just too cold to fly, but I learned he likes to hang around on the fishing peer and get fed. I've been out there before but never saw him before. Apparently he is Charlie. The other picture is of Bekah one of my grandadults and Chris, Laura's boyfriend, after they had been in swimming. They wouldn't say it wasn't cold. They went in twice but came to the car wrapped in blankets and I had sat in the car to get it good and warm, but they were still cold.

I know there are many things that are fixed and certain like two plus two equals four, or God is love. On the other hand ask people if they are poor and you could get a yes answer from people with very different resources. We judge so much from our own narrow perspectives or from the views we have learned from those around us. Most things that are relative are harmless like cold air and cold water, but I think we need to be very careful not to suggest that everything is relative. I don't want my bankers or my doctors acting like everything is relative. Certainty and absolutes are often good.

They thought cold was relative but I think it was still cold.

Grandadults

I was writing my status for facebook this morning and wanting to communicate that the girls were coming for a couple of days. I was going to call them my grandchildren or granddaughters but my fingers kind of halted and instead they typed grandadults. I don't know if anyone has ever coined that word before but I never heard it. It seemed so much more appropriate for the adult women I am expecting in a few minutes from now. I enjoyed so much the years when they were children and then teenagers and perhaps grandchildren would have been appropriate then, but I enjoy the women they have become as well. It is not the same. I certainly have less worry now then I had in those days, and I'm not as responsible for creating opportunities for entertainment. Now they are just comfortable to be with and still interesting people. They bring with them others to add to the mix and they are wonderful people too. Grandadults, I like it. Maybe it is a whole new concept or category of relationship. In case you didn't get it, I like it.

New Year

Time is one of those unstoppable realities. We break it up with man made units like weeks and months because they somehow help us organize our lives better, but the real units all have to do with the makeup of our creation. The revolution of the earth around our sun and the rotation of the earth on its axis create the only true units of time. In our human lives it is probably just as relevant to break up time by the events of our lives. Birthdays would be one obvious example. With young people, school years or changing schools might be events that have significance. As adults it might be getting jobs or getting married or having children or grandchildren. Death of parents or grandparents or other family members is always of great consequence. We start a new calendar year, but what significant changes mark this change of time for you. As you start 2010 what will make your life different or be something to make you mark this moment.

Last night I went to a wonderful gathering of some members of my Myrtle Beach church family. I was home in bed by about 10:30 PM. I didn't need midnight on New Years to mark the changes in my life. In the recent past, I retired, lost my wife Marsha to cancer, and I'm adapting to living alone. Those are the changes that mark my time and point to the future as well. The change of 2009-2010 or the change of decades are pretty meaningless to me. What would best mark time for you? How is it an ending? What might be a beginning? Happy New Year may your time be marked with noteworthy blessings!!